For years, I was harsh and critical with myself when I made mistakes. I felt that mistakes made me unworthy.
I couldn’t tolerate failure. I thought I had high standards and was pushing myself to be better, but in reality, the harsh criticism was not a necessary part of my growth. In fact, it held me back in so many ways!
When we criticize ourselves, we create negative, unhealthy relationships with ourselves while creating negative and unsafe mental and emotional space within us. Even though we might think harsh self-criticism will make us perform better in life, it’s not sustainable… it’s really just holding us back. We end up doubting and not trusting ourselves, keeping us from the life we want.
If you tend to engage with self-criticism, has it really helped you?
If you’re going to allow yourself to dream big and to pursue those dreams, you’re going to have to let go of the self-criticism.
Self-criticism makes us feel unworthy of achieving our wildest dreams. It keeps us stuck!
What do you replace self-criticism with? I recommend being firm, yet compassionate with yourself. Wouldn’t you rather learn from a supportive, encouraging teacher that holds you accountable than a teacher who never accepts or acknowledges your hard work and your potential?
Self-compassion is an important doorway to unconditional self-worth because it helps us release the self-criticism that holds us back and keeps us from feeling good about ourselves. Connecting with our unconditional self-worth is about healing and transforming our relationship with ourselves and self-compassion helps us do just that.
Cultivating a supportive and encouraging relationship with ourselves gives us the foundation to move boldly into the world and confidently share our gifts and strengths (not to prove we’re good enough).
Three core components of self-compassion:
- Mindfulness – Sitting with your thoughts and being in the present moment without judgement or evaluation.
- Common Humanity – You’re not the only one feeling the way you do. You’re not alone. Your thoughts and feelings are normal responses to what you are feeling.
- Self-Kindness – Treating yourself the way you treat others… with kindness, support, encouragement, and responsibility.
Think about how you can incorporate these core components of self-compassion in your own life. Perhaps you can start with one and add in the rest as you progress in this practice. See if this can help you connect to your unconditional self-worth and let me know how your experience goes!
Remember, you are worthy even when you make mistakes or don’t reach your goals.
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