Stop Holding Yourself Back & Start Believing in Yourself

Stop Holding Yourself Back & Start Believing in Yourself

When you feel unworthy, it’s pretty much impossible to live life to the fullest. 

Low self-worth keeps us from shining our light and sharing our gifts with the world. 

My time as a dancer has taught me that in order to perform full out, meaning putting your all into your movement without holding back, you must practice full out. You can’t expect your body to go full out in your performance if you’ve never done that during practice, right? I believe this also applies to anything else in life. 

Just like in dance, something transformative happens when you put your all into something. Too often we hold ourselves back, afraid of getting onto the metaphorical dancefloor, afraid of judgement from others, and afraid of failing or looking stupid. 

Do you stay in the safety zone of life? Do you hold yourself back from pursuing your dreams or taking risks? Are you afraid of being vulnerable or being criticized?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

We are born to be brilliant and to let ourselves shine. When we do that, beautiful things happen.

How are you holding yourself back in life? Here are a few examples you might resonate with…

  • You see your dream job listed, but you don’t apply for it because you’re not sure if you’re ready or if you’re qualified, even though you’ve been in the industry for a while.
  • Procrastination! You have a big presentation or project that you put off because it makes you anxious and you feel like you have to do it perfectly. You’re worried about the criticism of others, so you wait until the last day possible to get it done.
  • Going out drinking or getting high the night before a big interview, leaving you not as sharp or as calm as you could be.
  • Knowing you have great ideas for a project but you don’t take the lead or share your ideas because you’re worried about the judgement you’ll receive if things don’t go well.
  • Knowing where you want to go in life and what your strengths are, but you hold them back and hide them because you’re scared of vulnerability or you’re worried you’re not good enough. 

2 Ways Self-Sabotage Hold Us Back in Life

When we feel unworthy, we’re much more likely to hold ourselves back in life. When we feel unworthy, we can’t see our gifts and strengths because we’re too caught up in self-judgement and self-criticism. If we don’t know our gifts, we’re less likely to shine and share them with others.

Another way low self-worth holds us back is we don’t feel like we’re worthy of success and love. We don’t feel like we should experience success, so we keep ourselves from it. This relates to imposter syndrome, which causes us to feel like a fake or like we don’t truly deserve success, despite our accomplishments and our innate worthiness. 

Have you had trouble identifying your strengths and talents? Have you felt like an imposter, causing you to hide and play small?

Operating from a place of lack causes us to feel resentful, burned out, and frustrated in our giving to the world. In contrast, when operating from a place of unconditional worthiness, what we give is not about proving our worth, it’s about showing up and giving from a place of abundance and power. 

When you allow yourself to go full out… yes, sometimes you fall or make mistakes, but your mistakes are not meant to keep you from showing up and trying again. You can get back up and keep going. Don’t let the fear of falling keep you from dancing. Life is so much better when you go full out! When you go full out, you get to experience the bliss and the power of your strengths and talents.

The Best Strategy for Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Focus on your intention instead of perfection. Focus on the process instead of the outcome. Focusing too much on the goal or performing perfectly causes us to feel overly anxious, making it more likely for us to self-sabotage. Get clear on your intention and how you want to show up. 

Is your intention to inspire people, to educate people, to learn something, to share your ideas, to help others connect? This can be applied to anything! A date, a presentation, a job interview, trying a new hobby or recipe, etc. When you do this, you’re able to be present, to relax, and to enjoy yourself in the process.

Identify one area of your life where you’ve been holding yourself back and where you’ve noticed yourself sabotaging your success. Identify 1-2 intentions and commit to going full out. Then, see what happens! Take note of the feedback you receive. My guess is that the experience is going to feel better and you’ll receive even better feedback. 

Remember, the world is a better place when you’re living full out.

Send me a DM or an email about your experience, I’d love to hear about it!

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2 thoughts on “Stop Holding Yourself Back & Start Believing in Yourself

  1. Dr. Adia,
    You posts are always insightful, however, today your words were especially impactful. Thank you for the reminder to focus on the process and not the outcome.

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