The Fall of Issa & Lawrence: Preventing Infidelity in Relationships

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The fall of Issa’s and Lawrence’s relationship on Insecure depicts a common and cautionary tale of what can happen when generally healthy relationships are not protected and nurtured. Most relationships go through rough patches at some point. People feel frustrated or annoyed by each other and aren’t sure how to communicate clearly  or resolve their problems. These patches often arise after the infatuation and overwhelmingly positive feelings of new love have worn away. When daily life in a relationship feels mundane and partners take each other for granted. The things that used to come easily – sincere compliments, passionate sex, general admiration – seemed to fade without warning and you’re left wondering what was lost in the relationship and if it’s possible to get it back

Cheating is a common response to feeling unhappy in a relationships. When relationships go through rough patches, many people do not know how to address the issues that arise. Instead of turning towards each other, partners often turn away from each other; avoiding engagement and the hard work of having difficult conversations. Additionally, many people have trouble asking for what they need in relationships and feeling hurt, disappointed, and angry can cause people to disregard their partner’s feelings. These issues can make partners vulnerable to developing inappropriate connections with people outside of their relationship. On this season of Insecure, we saw both Issa and Lawrence cultivate relationships with people who they were attracted to and provided them with the affirmation and encouragement that they were not receiving in their relationship with each other. Continue reading “The Fall of Issa & Lawrence: Preventing Infidelity in Relationships”

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How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

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Do you frequently question your abilities and wonder if you’re good enough or smart enough? Do you feel like a fraud and worry that people will find out who you “really” are? Do you diminish and dismiss your accomplishments? Do you constantly compare yourself to others and feel like everyone else is more qualified than you? If you answered yes to some of these questions you may be experiencing imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome involves feeling like a fake or fraud despite evidence of high achievement and accomplishment. Even though you’ve earned a degree and are progressing through graduate school, or receive praise for your work, you question your abilities. Imposter syndrome also involves worrying that you got into an academic program or got a job by mistake, and ›feeling like you are fooling people into thinking you are smart. Overall, people who experience imposter syndrome feel that they are not good enough.

Imposter syndrome may be even more challenging for people of color because stereotype threat may exacerbate it. Stereotype threat is the stress that results from worrying that you will confirm negative stereotypes about the intellectual capacities of people from your gender, racial, or ethnic group. The combination of imposter syndrome and stereotype threat can negatively effect your performance on tasks that you would be able to do well without this additional stress. Additionally, people of color may wonder if they were admitted to an academic program or got a job because of token diversity initiatives. This can increase insecurities about whether or not you really belong in a workplace or academic setting. Further, people from marginalized groups often navigate challenging racial, cultural and gender dynamics, as well as microaggressions, which can further exacerbate imposter syndrome.

Continue reading “How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome”