Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth

I gave a TEDx Talk at DePaul on May 1st, 2018 on the topic of cultivating unconditional self-worth. I shared my own struggles with self-worth as well as my recommendations for practices that we can all engage in to cultivate unconditional self-worth. I hope you will check the talk out and share it with people you think might benefit from the message. You can find the video here. I have also included the video below.

 

 

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How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

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Do you frequently question your abilities and wonder if you’re good enough or smart enough? Do you feel like a fraud and worry that people will find out who you “really” are? Do you diminish and dismiss your accomplishments? Do you constantly compare yourself to others and feel like everyone else is more qualified than you? If you answered yes to some of these questions you may be experiencing imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome involves feeling like a fake or fraud despite evidence of high achievement and accomplishment. Even though you’ve earned a degree and are progressing through graduate school, or receive praise for your work, you question your abilities. Imposter syndrome also involves worrying that you got into an academic program or got a job by mistake, and ›feeling like you are fooling people into thinking you are smart. Overall, people who experience imposter syndrome feel that they are not good enough.

Imposter syndrome may be even more challenging for people of color because stereotype threat may exacerbate it. Stereotype threat is the stress that results from worrying that you will confirm negative stereotypes about the intellectual capacities of people from your gender, racial, or ethnic group. The combination of imposter syndrome and stereotype threat can negatively effect your performance on tasks that you would be able to do well without this additional stress. Additionally, people of color may wonder if they were admitted to an academic program or got a job because of token diversity initiatives. This can increase insecurities about whether or not you really belong in a workplace or academic setting. Further, people from marginalized groups often navigate challenging racial, cultural and gender dynamics, as well as microaggressions, which can further exacerbate imposter syndrome.

Continue reading “How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome”

Comparing Yourself to Others

outward_longingSummer: wedding season and a time when people are traveling and posting fabulous pictures of themselves in exotic places. Summer can also be a time when it’s easier to get caught up in comparing ourselves to other. Whether we are wishing we were the one getting married, wishing we had the money to take an amazing trip, or wishing our plans to get our bodies right by the summer had worked out, there are ample opportunities to feel like the grass is greener in other people’s yards. Continue reading “Comparing Yourself to Others”

#OscarsSoWhite: 3 Ways to Respond to Being Overlooked

Oscars Statues
Photo by Prayitno (License)

Why has the exclusion of black people and black movies from the Oscars been so frustrating and upsetting to us? Part of the reason is because the actors, writers, and directors that we support, look up to, and are inspired by aren’t getting the recognition they deserve. Another reason is that excluding black narratives and characters from the nominations makes us feel like our own lives and experiences are being invalidated. Finally, I believe that the lack of black nominees in the Oscars this year resonates with us deeply because as black women we have experienced similar invalidation throughout our lives and careers. We know the pain and disappointment of being overlooked and underrated. We are familiar with the frustration of having our ideas and abilities repeatedly questioned. The fight to diversify the Oscars is not just about the entertainment industry, it’s also about fighting for our lives, our work, our stories, our selves to be acknowledged as important and legitimate.

So how do we manage the stress, pain, and disappointment of being overlooked? How do we make time to affirm ourselves when the rest of the world is behind the curve? We must validate our experiences, acknowledge our accomplishments, and celebrate ourselves. Continue reading “#OscarsSoWhite: 3 Ways to Respond to Being Overlooked”