The Problem with Self-Criticism

— EPISODE 19 —

 

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You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love, success, and happiness… but our inner critics tell us otherwise.

Self-criticism can start with a mistake and can spiral into a prediction that you’ll end up jobless, homeless, friendless, broke, or alone forever. Mental health professionals call that catastrophizing.

Though, many times, self-criticism isn’t that dramatic! It can also show up in small doses throughout your day or week.


So, I’m here to tell you the problem with self-criticism.

Regardless of how self-criticism shows up in your life, it’s discouraging! It often doesn’t inspire improvement, despite how much we like to think it does. It often causes procrastination and avoidance. Self-criticism makes us fall into a pattern of feeling like no matter how hard we try, we’re never going to be good enough. 

Think about the last time you criticized yourself. How did you feel about yourself after you criticized yourself?

Think about whether self-criticism truly helps you or hinders you. Does it inspire you to make better decisions, be more mindful, and stay organized and productive? Or does it push you into a loop of negativity, self-doubt, and procrastination? 

Let’s make a shift towards embracing our unconditional self-worth through self-compassion and common humanity. Common humanity helps us connect to the fact that we are human and as humans, we go through challenges and we experience difficult emotions not because we’re unworthy or something is wrong with us, but just because we are humans. 

Common humanity helps us to let go of negative thoughts and harmful self-criticism, while reminding us that it’s normal to be sad when we lose something or someone, to be upset about societal injustices, and to be frustrated when we make mistakes. Then, we’re able to calm down and offer ourselves kindness and compassion.

You’re not alone in experiencing failure, rejection, and loss. We all do. 

So, next time your inner critic feels the urge to shout at you, I encourage you to see how it feels to remind yourself of common humanity.


 
 

If you’re interested in getting started on your journey to embracing your unconditional self-worth…

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Self-Worth as a Foundation for Effective Leadership Dr. Darren Pierre

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Self-Worth, Relationships and Sex Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon