Framework for A Healthy Relationship with Yourself

— EPISODE 21 —

 

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Sometimes, the most powerful act of self-care is to not do anything at all.

Even when we have a lot to do, checking more things off the to-do list won’t always make us feel less stressed out.

This weekend, I didn’t do any work and I feel so proud of myself. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. In the past, I would have beat myself up for not working when there’s so much to do. Now, I put myself and my well-being first.

Of course, being my own boss gives me the opportunity to make a decision like that, but the same concept applies to you even if you don’t work for yourself. You can still examine your needs and take time to nurture yourself when you feel overwhelmed or tired. Sometimes, that looks like asking for help or requesting an extension.


Compassion and care in small (or large) doses is the essence of having a healthy relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for your life and every other relationship you have.

There are many factors that can impact your relationship with yourself, such as your relationship with your parents, your parent’s relationship with themselves, discrimination, and trauma.

We live in a world that’s judgmental, that communicates who’s acceptable and who’s not, and so often, these issues are internalized. However, this is your opportunity to give yourself grace and start developing a healthy relationship with yourself despite what you’ve experienced throughout your life and what’s going on in the world around you.

I truly hope we will get to a place where everyone is embraced as worthy on a personal, political, and social level.

We shouldn’t wait until society embraces us to embrace ourselves.

The truth of the matter is, we’ll never know when society will choose to embrace us, so why waste that precious time?

Regardless of what society is doing to or saying about our identity groups, it is so important for us to learn to radically care for and love ourselves.

“The struggle is inner: Chicano, Indio, American Indian, mojado, mexicano, immigrant Latino, Anglo in power, working class Anglo, Black, Asian–our psyches resemble the border towns and are populated by the same people. The struggle has always been inner and is played out in outer terrains. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come before changes in society. Nothing happens in the “real” world unless it first happens in the images in our heads.”

– Gloria Anzaldua

I implore you to attend to your inner world and treat your relationship to yourself as a powerful vehicle for transformation. If we heal that, we’ll be better equipped to heal and transform the world.

 
 
 

How are you doing with each of these components?

Let this framework be a guide for you to understand how to have a healthy relationship with yourself. 

With this framework, I’m able to maintain my strong foundation of unconditional self-worth because each day, I enable myself to love, care, and accept myself regardless of whatever’s going on in my life.


 
 

If you’re interested in getting started on your journey to embracing your unconditional self-worth…

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How Trauma Impacts Our Self-Worth with Dr. Candice Norcott, Ph.D

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Self-Worth as a Foundation for Effective Leadership Dr. Darren Pierre