Why You Need to Calm Your Nervous System with Theresa Lear Levine
— EPISODE 73 —
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Theresa Lear Levine [00:00:00] Everything is about coming to that place where whatever the issue is, you genuinely get to the point of feeling that love, self-love, acceptance, or forgiveness for yourself or others involved with the circumstance or the feeling or whatever else. And when you can get to that place, you do truly, truly feel better and differently about things.
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Dr. Adia Gooden [00:00:26] Welcome to the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. In this podcast, I will guide you on your journey to connect with the true source of your self-worth. Each week we'll discuss barriers to unconditional self-worth, the connection between self-worth and relationships, self-worth practices you can apply to your life, and how to use self-worth as a foundation for living courageously. I'm your host, Dr. Adia Gooden, a licensed clinical psychologist, dance enthusiast, and a dark chocolate lover who believes deeply that you are worthy unconditionally.
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. Today on the episode, I am talking to Theresa Lear Levine and she is an expert in the Emotional Freedom Technique, tapping, which integrates cognitive and neurological interventions. And she shares about how this technique is incredibly powerful in terms of healing, overcoming trauma, in terms of regulating nervous system. And she even talks about how she uses it as someone who has ADHD and as somebody who helps people with ADHD. And she shares about how she feels her ADHD is a superpower, which I just love. So this episode is going to be incredibly helpful to anyone who's interested in learning about tapping, about EFT, anyone who's experienced neuro divergence or ADHD and wants a different way to frame and understand it. So listen to the episode and as always, I'd love if you left us a review and let me know what you think. Let's get into the show.
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So today on the podcast, I have a guest and her name is Theresa Lear Levine. She is the founder of Becoming More Me, where she helps professional women get out of their way and resolve their innermost pains, traumas and challenges so they can fully enjoy their success and present moments. She does this by using scientifically proven methods that help them to release what's currently holding them back and leverage their perceived weakness into superpowers. By utilizing Theresa's unique approach to the Emotional Freedom Technique, her clients have overcome nervousness and difficult situations, such as preparing for big presentations, overcoming their fear of flying and transitioning through divorce.
Theresa's personal struggles with past traumas, high functioning anxiety, and ADHD kept her in an ego-driven holding pattern of dissatisfaction and stress for longer than she likes to admit. Eventually it led to exhaustion, insomnia, and a lot of difficulty being present in her own life. All of those negative feelings seemed to melt away when she began cracking the code to her nervous system, taking responsibility for her own well-being and elevating her consciousness in ways that truly resonated, restored her feelings of calm, clarity, and confidence. Theresa is the host of Becoming More Me podcast and lives near Washington D.C. with her husband Jeff and her four boys, as well as their two yellow labs. So welcome to the podcast, Theresa. I'm very glad to have you here.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:03:49] Thank you, Adia. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to have a conversation with you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:03:53] Awesome. Well, I'd love to start by having you share a bit about your own self-worth journey.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:03:59] Well, I think that our self-worth journey is something that is always ongoing. I feel I really came into a deeper understanding with that as I was, because you reflect on your life as you progressed through the years and having been through, I was a child of divorce growing up, there was some different traumas there that I went through. I went through my own divorce in my 20s. I got remarried. I've had four children, I've had many iterations of my business. And as I entered my 40s, I really felt I could really just value myself in such a new and different way and really appreciate everything that I've been through that has gotten to me this place, to the place that I'm now. And just really be able to see that everything's unfolding according to a divine plan, even if I can't see it, and really have that feeling of being whole, complete and powerful. I think a lot of that was enriched as I brought Emotional Freedom Techniques in as one of the main modalities that I use both in my own life and my own healing and in my business. Because that really brought things full circle for me and allowed me to see myself as greater than the feelings and the experiences and everything else that my life is made up of.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:05:17] Will you tell us about what Emotional Freedom Techniques are and how they helped you on your self-worth journey? How you use them to help other people?
Theresa Lear Levine [00:05:27] Yeah, absolutely. So Emotional Freedom Techniques sometimes known as EFT tapping is like psychological acupressure. It's a combination of modern psychology and ancient Chinese wisdom that brings in our meridian system, which is the system through which our life force flows in our body. When you go and get a massage or you go to see an acupuncturist or something, they're using these meridian points in your body to release, in a lot of times physical pain, but also emotional things as well. And when you combine that with the psychological aspects and you're tapping on these points with your hands, literally there's no needles like with acupuncture, when you're doing EFT tapping, which most people are very relieved to hear, then it sends a signal to our amygdala. We get to bypass the frontal lobes and things, and we get to go directly to the amygdala, which is where our fight, flight, freeze, fall, all those things happen.
We get to calm that at the same time as we're calming lots of other things. We're bringing down our cortisol levels, our stress hormones and things very quickly, up to 43% in 10 minutes, by just this combination of things, that's significant and that really helps everything to feel better. EFT is one of the only things I've ever heard of that has these borrowed benefits where, maybe you're focusing on working on one issue or challenge, but as you are, everything's getting better at the same time. And it also works from a practitioner to a client standpoint where, when I'm working with someone else, I'm experiencing healing as I help them because we're both doing that tapping together and I'm releasing energetic blockages in my own system, even though my focus is completely on them and their traumas or the healing that they're working on.
I loved the modality for that reason because I've always enjoyed helping people and doing coaching and therapy and things like that, but a lot of times it wore me down. This was something that actually restored my energy. I didn't feel burned out and I felt renewed at the end of every day because of the modalities that I was using to help others as well. We get to bring down those stress levels and it really resolves the feelings that you have. We assess before we go in and do what we call a round of EFT tapping, which is tapping on nine specific points in a certain sequence while we're talking through the issue. And once we do that, we assess how we're feeling again, and people are always amazed at how much can change. The way that this works on things like fears and phobias, limiting beliefs, all that kind of stuff, it's pretty astounding how much progress can make in a short amount of time around the EFT. It takes anywhere between five and 12 minutes, depending on how embellished you get with things. And a lot can really shift and release in that timeframe.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:08:24] Sounds really powerful. One of the things you mentioned was getting to the point where you felt worn down or even burned out by other strategies and approaches that you used to help people in the past. I know that a lot of the listeners have experienced burnout, have experienced feeling drained and getting to a place where they're over-extended. And I'm wondering what that looked like for you, how you got to that place and how you realized it was time to shift and make a change.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:08:54] Yeah. So for me, it was in my 20s and things, like I said, I had my first son, I had got divorced, I had been through some car accidents before that that left me with a lot of physical injuries and things. And so there was physical wear and tear and there was emotional wear and tear going on. And then I got into my current marriage and we had three more sons together. And I think somewhere in the point where the children started to outnumber the amount of hands I had to hold them and keep up with them, I started to feel a little anxious. And this was probably in my 30s that I really started to be able to really feel okay, this is anxiety, this is what's going on.
I remember being pregnant with my youngest son, he'll be six soon. But when I was pregnant with him, I was experiencing insomnia for the first time. And I just really started to wonder what more is there going on here. Because I've always been a personal development junkie. I've always like, if I have an issue, I'm going to study up on it. I'm going to figure it out, I'm going to find a solution. But I would know what the solutions were for things but not be able to make them happen. There was this disconnect. It was like, well, if I know better, then why can't I actually make my life work out like this, make myself feel better? All that kind of stuff. And it was the introduction of nervous system regulation in the form of EFT tapping that really bridged that gap for me.
And I remember going back and rereading books where it was like, huh, this makes sense, but I just can't make it work. And then when I would tap and use the tapping along with it, it was like I could get through to that next level. And the psychological reversal and the self sabotage went away, the procrastination, things like that that would often hold me back and I was able to move forward. So yeah, there was a lot of feelings of just being exhausted and burnout and stuff as I tried to run my businesses from home, raising the four kids and just juggling things that you couldn't really keep all the balls in the air. And being able to release some of that self-judgment self that I should be able to do all this.
Like why can't you do more? Why can't you do better? And that kind of stuff and realized that, hey, I'm doing the best I can . And to find ways to level up from there and not be so hard on myself. I made a lot more connection with law of attraction and stuff at that point too, and made great leaps with realizing how much could be accomplished through thought instead of action. Because at that point it was always the to-do list. What's left on the list? What do I have to do today? How can I knock it out? How can I get it done? It was live or die by the to-do list, it's awful. It's a horrible way to live. Anybody that's living and dying by their to-do list, can we talk please? There's this whole other side of the coin that is so much it has so much more self-love and is so much gentler and where you actually get more done and you feel better while you do it. And that was what I was seeking and what thankfully I found.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:12:08] And it sound like you had so much on your plate, which it makes sense that given that, and I know you mentioned in your bio that you've experienced past trauma, that regulating your nervous system was so important. And I think so many of us live from this point of stress that we may not even realize that what's amiss is that we are dysregulated emotionally, physically, physiologically, and we need to ground ourselves and center ourselves so that we can feel safe because it really is hard to learn, to grow, to make changes in our lives if we're on edge and on alert and looking out for the next threat. And it sounds like for you, the EFT really helped you to regulate and calm and ease so that some of that learning and that insight could get integrated so that it actually created change in your life.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:13:07] Absolutely. Where it used to be the cortisol spikes and the chaos and the confusion, it switched to calm, confidence and clarity, which are my favorite benefits of this. But what you said about people needing nervous system regulation, most people don't even know what that is. I feel like gosh, from preschool on, I wish we were instilling more of this in our young ones that are coming up with this. Because everything gets put under the umbrella of I'm stressed, I'm anxious, but nobody's really thinking about where you're feeling that in your body or what's really causing it or the patterns and all of that stuff. And it's not as difficult to release it as a lot of people think, a lot of people just think this is my life, it's stressful, it's just how it's going to be. It's your thoughts more than anything that are leading into those beliefs and those outcomes and all of that can be changed. It's also flexible, appliable and workable.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:14:02] Yeah. Well, will you break down for people who are listening, who are thinking, yeah, I don't know if I know what it means for my nervous system to be dysregulated versus regulated. Will you break that down? What might people be experiencing?
Theresa Lear Levine [00:14:16] It's a lot of the same symptoms that you'd have with what people call anxiousness. But I think that people aren't taking into effect that their body is such a big part of it. I think people concentrate on their thoughts and they are ruminating there and they're not realizing that their body and their mind that there's this connection that is more powerful than they realize. And sometimes when things happen that are triggering for people, that's when you can notice that dysregulation setting in, but all of that, you've got to be able to elevate your consciousness and find that awareness if you're going to figure that out for yourself. And that was another really huge piece of enjoying EFT for me, is that maybe I would work on, on myself a bothersome memory or something and I would feel better about that bothersome memory. But I'd also feel this clarity and this feeling okay, I've taken this layer off and now there's this new thing I can see or this new perspective that I have that I can open up to.
I love to describe it before I did the work on something, it was like being in the mosh pit down by the stage at a concert or whatever. And sure, if you love the band, you're really happy to be up close and maybe you're bopping around and enjoying everybody and it's good, but you don't have the whole picture. You just know what's happening right then and there and maybe you don't even feel very safe there because there's so much happening and you're in such close quarters with people. And then as I do a round of EFT, I feel almost like I just lift up into the nosebleed seats where I can see everything, I feel safe, nobody's bumping into me and I have a new perspective on the exact same event.
So. Yeah. It really opens your mind. It's amazing the way that we can see something as logical and then irrational, but that's not how we show up. I find EFT tapping to be a great place for interjecting humor. My clients who know what have tapped along with, we know we'll find ourselves laughing at the most inappropriate things. But sometimes it's just as you're tapping along on something and you're realizing that you're completely blocking the thing that you want in your life, with these thoughts that you're having, my clients will just giggle, like oh my God, this is so logical, this is so irrational, but why am I not doing it? And to go in and figure it out from there, but at least you're taking it easy on yourself instead of beating yourself up.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:16:51] I think bringing humor into a healing process is so important. And I think often the framing is that it's so serious and there are things to take seriously, right? And if we can laugh at the ridiculousness of some of these thoughts, one of the therapeutic approaches that I've been trained in that I use is, Acceptance Commitment Therapy. And part of what we do there is when you're working with your thoughts that are unhelpful, you can say them in a silly voice or you can sing them or you name the thought and then you talk to it and it's like, girl, you always have something wrong to say. Why are you always criticizing me? If you can start to play and be yeah, this is ridiculous. Why am I listening to this voice in my head who always says I'm wrong and always I say go left, they always say go right.
How could you think about going left, whatever. And you start to bring in some lightness and this is ridiculous. And not judging yourself, this is ridiculous, but I just have to laugh at this because I no longer want to believe this. If somebody else came up to me on the street and said this thing to me, I would never believe them. And so let me release it with that lightness. And we know that laughter is incredibly healing and incredibly helpful and there's so many ways into this work and I think that's one of the things that's useful about, EFT, right?
That's a way in, right? Talk therapy is a way in, there are physical modalities that are a way in and sometimes people need to start with the cognitive and sometimes people need to start with the physical, right? If you are having trouble regulating your body, right? Our thoughts do, as you said, can trigger and a physiological response. Because our mind and our brain and our body don't know the difference between a projection and a prediction that we failed at work and we're going to be homeless and no one will love us anymore. Our bodies don't know that that's not true. So we have to work on the thoughts and sometimes you need to just take a bath or take a walk or stretch to settle yourself. And it really sounds EFT is also a practice that integrates them. It integrates the cognitive and the physical in a really powerful way.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:19:20] Which has also been really helpful for me because I have ADHD and so do many of my clients. And for so long I just felt I was the biggest meditation failure on the planet. I was just like, I can't do this thing. I really want the benefits. I know how amazing it's, and I just can't. I can now, but for a while, EFT was my active meditation and I still got very similar benefits and was able to do it, but I was able to be move in my hands while I was talking and doing the thing and it let me be my fidgety self and also get resolution. And then as I got more into it, I was able to actually calm that so that the symptoms and things were less and actually get myself into a state where I could do traditional meditation, not long ones, but I can meditate now and actually feel like I'm doing it and that's pretty cool too.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:20:11] Yeah. Will you talk more about your experience of having ADHD? I feel over the last couple years there's been more conversation about neuro divergence and certainly I think adults and adult women who have ADHD. But it's just beginning, right? Because I think the typical image that we think of when we talk about ADHD, is a five-year-old boy who is hyperactive, right? That's the image that people go to. And we know that so many adults and so many women experience ADHD have neuro divergence. And often I think that the adult women who have ADHD, right? They grew up probably being overlooked, right? It probably wasn't diagnosed, it probably didn't get the accommodations that they needed in school growing up because they weren't bouncing off the walls in the same way that maybe a boy in their class might have been who had ADHD. And so I think that it can come with shame, it can come with feelings of is this really something that holds me back? There's so much there. And so I just love for you to talk about your own experience and journey with ADHD and also what you found helpful to bring out the strengths of, what it's like to have a brain that has ADHD characteristics as well as how you overcome some of the challenges.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:21:47] Yeah. So for me, I wasn't officially diagnosed until I was 42. I'm 44, so it hasn't been that long, but there's no doubt in my mind that I've had it forever. It wasn't a surprising diagnosis. And then also at the same time as it wasn't a surprise, it was also actually having that official diagnosis felt heavier than not having it. It's a little hard to explain, but it's like, okay. But it opened up the doors for me to be able to try medications, which I did and for a little while great and then not so much, so I don't use those anymore. But it was good to be able to see the differences in trying that and how my brain responded differently. I'm pretty sure, like I said, I've had this all my life and thankfully it wasn't ever anything where I don't ever remember my parents talking about me having behavioral issues or anything like that or trying to change anything.
But I'm pretty sure I was fairly hyper and definitely very go, go, go as a kid. But a lot of that just showed up in my interests and getting really, really into something and then dropping it for the next thing or going back and forth between different activities and just staying stimulated with different things. But I personally see my ADHD as a gift. If somebody was like, you could just take this pill and it would go away forever, you never have to deal with it. I would not take it, I would love to keep it. I feel I am an unstoppable brainstormer. I am very creative. I enjoy the hyperactivity and stuff when it comes. People get a little confused I think sometimes with hyperactivity thinking that it's always physical, but it shows up in mental ways just as much.
And I enjoy those differences in either having my mind just firing faster than I can do anything about all the ideas that are coming. And also the other side of it when things are calmer. I look at it like a superpower and all of my boys that are old enough to be diagnosed have it. And it presents in each of them in different ways. So for me it’s just fascinating. It's just cool difference that we've all found ways to make work for us. And what else are you going to do anyway, other than make it work for you. I do find that with the modalities that I use, and obviously we're talking a lot about EFT. I use a lot of different modalities in what I do though.
But with EFT, it's really great for helping me to slow down my thoughts to get to the roots of my impulsiveness and things as well as my clients. Like am I numbing? Am I avoiding something? What's at the root of what's going on? It also helps with disorganization, with problems like prioritizing. It helps me to be more focused and rational. And it also helps with poor time management skills, planning, things like that. I can essentially give myself a pep talk with around the EFT that works on my entire nervous system and allows me to show up differently. And it's also beneficial for that excessive activity or restlessness so that I can be more calm, I do sleep better, and I can be more present. That's one of the first things I noticed when I started using tapping on more of a daily basis, is that it was so much easier for me to get present in my life, which I noticed first and foremost, with my family.
Like with a mom who works from home with all my kids, sometimes I just felt I wasn't quite there or in either place, whether it was with my work or with my kids. And being able to really pull myself into the present moment very easily and feel fully there makes a really huge difference. There's just a bunch of ways, as well as it's pretty common for people with ADHD to have a low frustration tolerance. I will say I am one of those people. With EFT, the setup statements are always about, even though I am, you know what, you fill in the blank, So even though I'm feeling really frustrated right now, I love, accept and forgive myself. Everything is about coming to that place where whatever the issue is, you genuinely get to the point of feeling that love, self-love, acceptance or forgiveness for yourself or others involved with the circumstance or the feeling or whatever else. And when you can get to that place, you do truly, truly feel better and differently about things and removing those energetic blockages allows you to get to that place.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:26:28] I love that you're framing your ADHD as a superpower because I think so much of our framework of modern psychology is first of all very white and western and upper class and male, and it is definitely framed around, can you function the way we expect in the way that we have constructed our society at this point in time, but we don't talk about it. We don't fully contextualize the challenges and the issues in our society and in the construction of how we expect people to function in our society. So we make invisible the structures and the systems and then hyper focus on any person or individual who isn't functioning or engaging in these invisible structures and systems in the way that we decide is the right way. And so it creates this narrative of you are the problem, the individual is the problem, versus, well, okay, so this individual may think differently, operate differently, engage differently, and how are our systems and structures set up such that they really only support and allow for this group of people, right?
This narrow slice of people to be successful. And we don't say, well, the system is the problem. We say the individual and the people, anybody who falls outside of that system or that narrow swath of people, we say that they are the problem. And so I really appreciate the focus on no, this is a superpower. This is how I operate. It looks different. This is what I enjoy about this way of being and here's some things I have found to cope with the parts that maybe are a little bit less easy to work with or sometimes the restlessness pops up in a time when that's not as helpful or keeps me from being present. So working with it in this way has been really useful. I really appreciate you framing it and talking about it that way.
The other piece that you just mentioned that I wanted to draw out, because it's very much related to what I talk about with self-worth, is the even though I, whatever experience, whatever challenge, I still love, accept and forgive myself, and those are actually the core components of my framework related to unconditional self-worth, right? We talk a lot about self-forgiveness and freeing ourselves from past mistakes, failures, challenges. We talk a lot about self-acceptance, right? And offering ourselves compassion and letting go of the judgment and then loving ourselves, allowing ourselves to be loved by other people, right? I love that that's the phrase that you use in your work and the alignment that there is with the work that I do with people around their journey to embracing their unconditional self worth and moving through each of those pieces on a deep level.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:29:41] Yeah. It's all about that love, acceptance and forgiveness, that's for sure. And that's just how you set up the beginning of the round. And then what I love with EFT is that once you've got it set up and you're starting to tap through the different points, that's when you get to focus on all the negative feelings. The ones that nobody usually wants to hear about. And they wanted us to just move past and get over and, we have all this toxic positivity and everything else, but with EFT you get to fully honor and vent and you can be as childish or whatever as you want to, as you just express how you actually truly feel in that moment. And that's what allows you to get to the place of genuinely feeling a different way.
We don't need the garden. We can't plant the flowers and expect them to grow. They're just going to get overtaken by those weeds as they come back time and time again. But if we can get to that root cause, if we can let the things out and really allow things to transform, then we actually can feel differently. And with EFT, it's scientifically proven, there's hundreds and hundreds of studies out there about its efficacy, and when you do get to that root problem, then you don't have it come back again. And that's something that most people aren't used to. They're used to talk therapy and they talk about something, they feel better for a little bit, but then something triggers them again down the road and there they are back with those same feelings or those same issues and having to go through it all over again.
So being able to really weed that out once and for all is pretty valuable to people. And also it's a great bandaid tool also. If people don't have the time or the know-how or the ability to hire somebody to work with on this, then you can use this in the moment to take the intensity down and feel better. But that doesn't mean that it won't come back again. Also, so, but we also would never deny ourselves a bandaid if we had a wound. So using things in the moment that help us cope better and regulate and feel better so that we can still show up differently, even if it's going to happen again, is still super valuable.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:31:47] I know one of the things that you talk about and you help people with is owning and taking responsibility for their own well-being. I think it can be easy in the world that we live in and with the challenges that so many of us face to fall into a victim mentality, right? Fall into life is happening to me, there's nothing I can do about it, right? All of that. I'm hoping you can share a little bit about what that looks like, how you help people to take ownership of their own well-being and why you think that's so important.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:32:26] Well, at the heart of it all is calling back our power. If we're in a state of victimhood or if we're blaming other people and we don't want to take responsibility for the way that we're feeling and our own well-being, there's not a whole lot that we can do to change where we are, how we're feeling, our circumstances, any of that. We are in a state of powerlessness and we give our power away in a lot of different ways. I always say it's like thinking about a battery, if you're a phone and you have a battery and you're giving away part of your power to the past and some bothersome things that happened or whatever else, and you're giving away part of your power to the future because you're future tripping or you're anxious or you're worried, there goes that.
And then here you are sitting in the present moment and you only have a certain amount of that battery left. But the problem with that is that you can't be in the past and you can't be in the future. The only place that you can be and have any power is right here, right now. Just you and me having this conversation right now, that's the only place I can do anything. And so I want to have my full power right here sitting talking to you so that we can have the best conversation and I can be present with you and we can make this count and matter. So calling that power back by cutting some of those energetic cords and resolving those things and bringing yourself present makes a huge difference in being able to take responsibility for your own well-being.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:33:58] Yeah. I think that's so important. And this piece of being present, you were mentioning that earlier, I think people don't realize that they miss life, right? You miss life when you're not present, right? And yes, not being present can help you to avoid temporarily some of the challenging emotions that may come up in the present. And you also miss the positive, right? when you're not present, you also miss the lovely moment with your child or with your partner or fully enjoying your favorite dessert that you're eating or whatever it is, right? so often we're zoned out, not really present and when we are present and can embrace the richness of life, that's when life feels good. And the other piece is we tend to create stories going back to what our mind does. We either worry about the future or ruminate about the past. So even when we're not present, rarely is it that we're always in a fantasy land, imagining ourselves on a beach, looking at the ocean, enjoying the sunshine.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:35:05] We’re not somewhere better.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:35:06] Right. Usually we're pulled out of the present worrying or ruminating or something. So we're missing the present moment. We may be avoiding feelings that it would be best served if we just process them and release them. And we also miss positive moments that make life feel really good, which leaves us always feeling like I need something else. I need something else to make my life feel better. I need to do something else. I need to go on another vacation. I need to, right? And we don't feel content and at peace with how our life really is. How would you speak to that?
Theresa Lear Levine [00:35:45] You just said it. Everything you said, yep. That's it. But yeah, it's so funny because the thing that I always get faced with and mostly from my kids is always when I'm asking my oldest son or whatever to plan for something or to prepare for something, he's like I just want to be in the present moment, mom. I was like you have to plan and you can be a present person planning, and embodying the intentions and the feeling that you want to have moving forward because that's what brings them to you anyway. But just to say that being present doesn't mean that you can't plan or be responsible about upcoming things. That's part of being present because then as you get to those things and they approach, you'll be able to more fully enjoy them because you spent that time preparing. But yeah, it is, it's everything and giving away our power prevents us from it. Finding time-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:36:55] And what I would add just to that planning is that it's important to distinguish between planning and worrying, because a lot of what people do is they worry up until the event, right? I'm having a wedding and I'm worrying, is it going to be okay? Is it going to be together? Is it caterer? Worry, worry, worry, worry, right? And there is a fine line between planning, actually saying, I'm going to set this big event, this big trip, let's say this big trip is coming up and I need to plan out the flights and the hotel and make sure we have the transfer and make sure I have Google Translate on my phone and make sure I understand the currency and or whatever it's right. I am going to plan out the logistics of the trip and here's our schedule or whatever.
Versus having this worry in the back of your head for the weekly, what if we lose our luggage? What if we don't have this da da da da. And what if we don't know the language? And what if we don't get the trip, right? There's a difference between those things and it is really helpful. And sometimes the anxiety can be your clue that you need to sit down and plan. And then you can release the anxiety. You could say, okay, I've covered my bases, right? And so sometimes we think worrying is going to help me prepare. Worrying does not help you prepare. Planning helps you prepare. And that can be done without the worry and anxiety.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:38:25] Yeah. Worry becomes this cycle where you just create more and more of the thing that you don't want. Because you know what you focus on, you create and the things that you do become habits and those neural pathways can get some pretty set grooves going on. And then the nervous system begins to feel safer in that upheaval and the exhaustion than it does in the peace and alignment that you would get from actually planning so that you can be present. So it's you're hopelessly striving for it, but you don't feel at peace, but you feel more familiar and comfortable in the discomfort. So finding a way and nervous system regulation helped me do this to welcome in those new feelings that I really, really wanted and not feel they were a threat, makes a big difference.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:39:18] And I think you were actually talking about this very thing in my group coaching program yesterday. One of the members was just saying, I realize that my set point is stress and I've been stressed since I was a kid and I operate from this point of stress and I don't even know exactly how to shift out of it, right? And obviously we started talking about that, but I think it's really important to remember that there is actually a physiological thing that happens when we get used to stress. And we say that because then it's helpful, it's easier to give yourself grace, right? Because then instead of being why do I keep doing this to myself? Instead of being like, shaking the fist at yourself, you can say, okay, right? I did it again because I felt more used to the chaos and the stress and the last minute energy than I did.
I felt uncomfortable with the idea that I might get everything done ahead of time. I didn't know how to sit in that, I didn't feel, I felt my mind starts saying, you're missing something, something's wrong, right? And so I didn't know how to sit with it. And so I pulled out into the procrastination, into the last minuteness, and all you can do is recognize, get yourself some tools, EFT could be one of them, right? Coaching or therapy could be another to choose differently next time, right? And it's not about beating yourself up, but it's about saying, okay, I have to rewire my neural pathways, and if I'm going to rewire my neural pathways I have to do something again and again and again. And for some people this may be thinking about what are small moments when I create chaos when I could start to shift.
So maybe it's getting ready and getting out of the house in the morning, right? Maybe there's a small way you could shift like, okay, I'm going to get up 10 minutes earlier, or I'm going to take my shower at night. Or small shifts instead of going for the well we're going on a three week vacation to Europe and this is my time, right? This may be your time, but let's start with something that feels more manageable and doable and get you into the rhythm of like, okay, so that felt nice to leave the house not rushed and to know that I am on my way to work and I'm probably going to be on time. You can start with those small shifts.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:41:44] Absolutely. Because it's all about your own resistance really at the end of the day. And I love that, with tapping we can clear that resistance down to a cellular level and just really release those things because we're usually just standing in our own way., We're just usually blocking all the stuff that we want to come to us. And when you can learn to identify and feel that resistance and release it, it feels really good. And like you said, those baby steps make it a little easier. Because when you go up against a whole wall of resistance, it just feels like this wall of awful, that it's like, well, how am I going to possibly do that? Do I climb over it? Do I go around it? Maybe I can make a door through it. I don't know. But it's a big wall.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:42:27] Yeah. Well this has been such a great conversation and I am sure that people are going to leave this episode feeling like, I want to learn more about EFT. How do I understand this? How do I try it out? And I know you have a free resource to offer, so will you tell the audience about the resource and how they can access it?
Theresa Lear Levine [00:42:49] My recommendation when people are learning about EFT is to try it because it's one thing to hear you and me talking about it and the science behind it and why it works and everything else. That's another thing to actually think of something that actually challenges you or that you feel that you'd like to be able to transform and to do it. I have this really cool, I call it an ebook, but I think that confuses people because it's full of videos and podcasts and not necessarily just words. And it's called The Private Sessions. You can get it by going to theprivatesession.com and it is full of all different tapping rounds that I have done with other podcast hosts and great episodes. Also talking about different aspects of this kind of therapy and other things that I do. And that's a free resource and you can also get a lot of information at my website, which is just my name, theresalearlevine.com, access to my free community and everything else from there. So those would be the best places to check out if you're wanting to learn more about Emotional Freedom Techniques or the way that I use it.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:43:50] Awesome. Well thank you for that, Theresa. And we will link all of those things in the show notes. So check the show note. If you're looking for those resources, it sounds really like a rich resource that's going to be incredibly helpful for people who are learning about tapping. Thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your insight and wisdom with us.
Theresa Lear Levine [00:44:09] Thank you, Adia. I really appreciate it. I love what you do and just the idea of being unconditionally worthy was enough for me to be like I really want to talk to you on this show because that's so worthwhile. And all the things that I've heard you talk with other guests about are just so important for women especially to understand. And I appreciate you getting those messages out there.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:44:31] Thanks so much. I appreciate it.
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Thanks for joining me this week on the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. Make sure to visit my website, dradiagooden.com and subscribe to the show on iTunes so you'll never miss an episode. You can also follow me on social media at Dr. Adia Gooden. If you loved the show, please leave a review on iTunes so we can continue to bring you amazing episodes. Lastly, if you found this episode helpful and know someone who might benefit from hearing it, please share it. Thanks for listening and see you next episode.
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This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana and the music is by Wataboi.
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Have you ever known the solution to a problem but you just can’t make it happen? Do you have trouble calming down your nervous system and releasing stress, pain, or trauma? Today’s guest is here to introduce you to an incredibly powerful technique for healing pain, overcoming trauma and burnout, and regulating the nervous system.
In this episode, I welcome Theresa Lear Levine, an expert in the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Founder of Becoming More Me. Using scientifically proven methods like EFT, Theresa helps professional women get out of their own way and resolve their innermost pains, traumas, and challenges so they can fully enjoy their success and present moments.
Listen in as Theresa and I talk about why it’s important to calm the nervous system and how you can do this with the Emotional Freedom Technique, aka “tapping”. This episode is especially helpful for anyone experiencing neurodivergence or ADHD who wants to better understand it (and even make it your superpower).
What is EFT?
EFT, or tapping, is a quick, yet powerful method to heal, overcome trauma, and calm the nervous system. Theresa herself uses it to process stress and manage her ADHD. She describes it like a psychological acupressure; a combination of modern psychology and ancient Chinese wisdom that uses our meridian system to release physical and emotional pain.
EFT tapping can bring down your cortisol levels and stress hormones very quickly - up to 43% in just 10 minutes! That’s huge… and it truly helps us feel better about our circumstances so we can create positive change in our lives.
Oftentimes, we’re so stressed and strung out that we don’t even realize how emotionally and physically dysregulated we are. Can you relate? If you want to create change in your life and truly feel in tune with your body and mind, it’s essential that you know how to calm your nervous system. Learning how to calm your nervous system and release your emotional and physical stress is one of the first steps towards reaching a state of calm, confidence, and clarity.
The Benefits of Using EFT to Calm the Nervous System:
It’s easier to be present in life.
It’s easier to find forgiveness, love, and acceptance for yourself and others. Try using this self-worth affirmation: “Even though I _____, I still love, accept, and forgive myself.”
It helps you find the root cause of emotional and physical pain, stagnation in your life, or whatever is causing you stress and dysregulation.
It helps you cope with difficult thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that arise in your daily life.
It enables you to get out of the victim mindset, take your power back, and take ownership of your well-being.
It helps you worry less and plan/prepare more. This allows you to make small, achievable changes in your life that lead to big, positive change.
“It’s all about your own resistance… and I love that with tapping, we can clear that resistance down to a cellular level and just really release those things… And when you can learn to identify and feel that resistance and release it, it feels really good.” - Theresa Lear Levine
If you'd like to experience what it's like to tap with Theresa, you can access her Private Sessions Ebook absolutely free by going to https://theprivatesessions.com. You'll receive access to dozens of pre-recorded sessions that are just like working with her and are jam packed with value, nervous system regulation, and breakthroughs!
About Theresa Lear Levine (she/her):
Theresa Lear Levine is the Founder of Becoming More Me where she helps professional women to get out of their own way and resolve their innermost pains, traumas and challenges so they can fully enjoy their success and present moments.
She does this by using scientifically proven methods that help them to release what's currently holding them back and leverage their perceived weaknesses into superpowers. By utilizing Theresa's unique approach to the Emotional Freedom Technique, her clients have overcome nervousness and difficult situations such as preparing for big presentations, overcoming their fear of flying, and transitioning through divorce.
Theresa’s personal struggles with past traumas, high functioning anxiety, and ADHD kept her in an ego driven holding pattern of dissatisfaction and stress for longer than she likes to admit. Eventually, it led to exhaustion, insomnia and a lot of difficulty being present in her own life.
All of those negative feelings seemed to melt away when she began cracking the code to her nervous system, taking responsibility for her own wellbeing, and elevating her consciousness in ways that truly restored her feelings of calm, clarity and confidence.
Theresa is the host of the Becoming More Me Podcast and lives near Washington, DC with her husband, Jeff, and their 4 boys as well as their 2 yellow labs.
To connect further with Theresa Lear Levine:
Visit her website: https://theresalearlevine.com
Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresalearlevine
Listen to the Becoming More Me Podcast: https://becomingmoreme.com
Join the Becoming More Me Community Hub (Free Facebook Group): https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingmoremecommunityhub
This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana.
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