Embodiment Practices for Self-Worth with Ananta Ripa Ajmera
— EPISODE 71 —
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Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:00:00] Rituals really helped me. It wasn't until I could really cognitively shift these ideas or these limiting beliefs and patterns that I had, that I could really manifest a better life, right? And better relationships of all different kinds.
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Dr. Adia Gooden [00:00:21] Welcome to the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. In this podcast, I will guide you on your journey to connect with the true source of your self-worth. Each week we'll discuss barriers to unconditional self-worth, the connection between self-worth and relationships, self-worth practices you can apply to your life, and how to use self-worth as a foundation for living courageously. I'm your host, Dr. Adia Gooden, a licensed clinical psychologist, dance enthusiast, and a dark chocolate lover who believes deeply that you are worthy unconditionally.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. As always, I am grateful that you are here today. One of my favorite parts of recording this podcast, especially with guests, is seeing the parallels between the things that I talk about and the things that they talk about, and how we sort of approach these ideas related to self-worth, related to loving ourselves and caring for ourselves from different angles, but how there's so much alignment in the work that we are doing. And when I see alignment in parallels to me that reflects the deep wisdom that runs through various traditions and various approaches to this type of work. And so my guest today is Ananta, and she is sharing some of the wisdom from Vedic traditions, from Ayurveda, and really talks about some powerful steps that you can take to claim your worth and to claim your power and to show up in the world in a really powerful way.
We have a really interesting and dynamic conversation that I know you're going to get so much out of. I know that you're going to resonate with her story and experience, and I know that if you try out some of the strategies and practices that she offers, you're going to find them to be incredibly helpful. So, let's dive into the show. And as always, I would love for you to let us know what you think. Leave us a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. Send us a DM, et cetera. I also just want to do a quick mention and note that if you hear this podcast and you are thinking, you know what? I got to step by self care game up, I want to start taking better care of myself and nourishing myself and nurturing myself. I want to start offering myself more compassion.
And I want to get rid of my inner demons. I might call that your inner self critic, which is something that Ananta mentions. I want to remind you or let you know for the first time that I do have a course called, The Date Yourself Course, which is designed to help you do exactly that. It's date yourself four weeks of a healthy relationship with you. It's focused on breaking up with or releasing your inner critic, practicing self-compassion, and integrating that into your life and taking good care of yourself through engaging in true and sustainable self-care. It's a really powerful and transformative course that reduces stress and anxiety and increases a sense of worthiness and peace and makes life feel better. So if you are interested in that course, check the link in the show notes. You can go to https://www.unconditionallyworthy.com/dateyourself. It's an incredibly accessible course. You can do it in four weeks, and it's really powerful. So, wanted to mention that resource which I don't mention often enough. With that said, there is so much wisdom in this podcast. So let's get into it.
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Today on the podcast, I am welcoming Ananta Ripa Ajmera, who is an award-winning author, spiritual teacher and co-founder and CEO of The Ancient Way, an organization that supports you to embody ancient wisdom in a way that unfolds your true self. The Ancient Way offers a Spiritual Warrior Certification Program, Ayurveda Wellness Ambassador Program and Spiritual Wellness Retreats. Ananta is a also an advisor of Ayurveda, I don't know why I'm struggling with the pronunciation right now at THE WELL, a modern wellness club where she writes articles, offers workshops, and works with a team of integrative medical practitioners. The author of The Way of the Goddess: Daily Rituals to Awaken Your Inner Warrior and Discover Your True Self, which is published by Penguin Random House, and The Ayurveda Way, published by Story Publishing. Her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Newsweek, Forbes, Vogue, Yoga Journal, Spirituality and Health Magazine, Harper's Bazaar, Well+Good, MindBodyGreen, and on ABC News and Fox News. So with all of those amazing publications and news outlets, I feel really honored that you’re here talking with me on the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. Welcome, Ananta. I'm so glad to have you here.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:05:29] Thank you so much. It's so wonderful to be here with you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:05:32] Awesome. Well, I'd love to start by having you share with us a bit about your own self-worth journey.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:05:40] Thank you. I feel my self-worth journey really began in my 20s when I was searching for how to create pattern breaking change in my own life. I had joined the scholarship program when I was a college student at New York University, and they defined social entrepreneurship as creating this pattern breaking, social change in a sustainable and scalable way. And I had really turned that definition of social entrepreneurship inside out and asked myself, how can I create pattern breaking change in a sustainable way in my own life, and then scale those changes into the work I feel called to do in the world? That really marked the beginning I feel of my quest to really know how to love myself and to value my own self. And so I would say that was really the start of my self-worth journey.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:06:42] Thank you for sharing that. Can you elaborate on some of the patterns that you recognized needed to be broken in your life, in your family legacy, ancestral line? Can you talk a little bit more about that?
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:06:59] Definitely. I feel we were all strongly ingrained with this idea that your value as a woman in particular was determined based on how selfless you could be and how much you could give away yourself to the needs of other people. It's a very martyr like stance, where it's like the less you take care of yourself, the more valuable you’re, and I feel it's one that's reinforced even in the corporate world where you're valued for being the hardest worker. The least amount of sleep that you can get, the better off you are respected in a way in that kind of world. It was a lot of those kind of ideas. So to even embark upon a journey to know oneself, forget even valuing oneself, but to know oneself was a pretty big deal, right? I really had to confront that idea that, is taking care of myself actually selfish?
Is it exactly the thing I'm not supposed to do? That was a really, really big pattern of really valuing myself based on what I do for others. And then also I feel a pattern was of constantly giving away my power to other people for their love and acceptance. And feeling as though I inherently am not worthy of love and acceptance unless I make other people feel more comfortable. And therefore, I give away my own authority and my own individuality in order to give other people that feeling of security. And I think the seeds of it were really planted in childhood because my mom was afraid of me. And she had seen, ironically a lion, and I have a lion here in my background. She had seen that lion in my eyes when I was a teenager. And it really scared her and she didn't like it.
I wanted my mom to love me and to think I'm a good girl, right? Not like a scary lion. So then all that lion power I had, I started to chronically give away to other women in particular, because for me, it was my mom who really challenged that, my dad was more supportive of my power. I feel like I developed a pattern of people pleasing with women because I felt I needed to do that in order to get acceptance than to have good relationships with different women in my life, especially those in authority roles as teachers or mentors and things like that. And I think those two things put together were a pretty lethal combination of self-destructive, self-defeating patterns that were not substance based. They didn't really have anything to do with food or drugs or smoking or alcohol or any of those kind of typical culprits that we talk about.
But it was just as addictive to get other people's approval and to get other people's conditional love and acceptance as I feel the drugs and all of that can be. And I actually had struggled with eating disorders as well when I was growing up. I definitely did have issues around food, those healed more quickly. The deeper patterns though around the giving away of my power and feeling that my value is based on what I do for others took me a longer time to really work through and to heal. And first of all, even to recognize and then to be able to change the script in a profound way. And I think a lot of my experience writing, The Way of the Goddess, my most recent book, is that was really a big catalyst for recognizing just how deep those patterns went and I had to really bring it to surface and write it and reinforce it.
And really ingrain the new patterns, the new ideas of loving others begins with loving yourself for myself by writing the book and really owning that journey. I also feel I wrote in The Way of the Goddess, in chapter four about the experience of betrayal I had in a friendship that broke down. And I feel that also taught me a lot about how much I'm willing to do for other people at the expense of my own self, right? So then it wasn't just how much can I be valued for giving to others, but it was also, how much can I give at my own expense? And then it really hit hard, that experience of how much I would do for someone who wished to really harm me at some point in the friendship. And recognizing that I needed to let go of that friendship and really be my own friend was a huge deal for me in that healing process. And that was just a few years ago, but writing about it, I think then really reinforced, okay, this is a deep pattern and you got to really be aware of it and careful and know it and recognize it and don't fall in that hole again.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:12:15] You said so much there that I'd love to kind of draw out. Well, I think the last thing is sort of this power of writing as a practice of reflection and allowing you to kind of see what's going on. Because we're living every day and we're sort of in the midst of it and it can be really hard to sort of recognize what's happening when we're in the midst of it. But then you take a step back and you look at what happened and you see the things that happened over time and you see the connections. And that's kind of where this power of insight can happen. I think that often happens for people in therapy because the therapist is helping you to say, well, this happened at this time and then this happened again, and then this happened again. So there's a lot of ways into that insight.
And certainly writing is one of them that's very powerful. I also think so many people relate to what you're saying about giving power away, right? Giving away our power, especially as women, to make other people feel comfortable, to be accepted. And then also sort of giving our time and our energy away in service of others to, again, get that acceptance. And it's interesting that you brought up the fact that you had some eating challenges, eating disorder concerns at a point. Because I was thinking this sort of this pull that women or this sort of socialization for women to be small, right? To be sort of drained, right? It's like if you're giving all your power away, you're giving this service away, you're giving, giving, giving. It's like, you are drained, you become small, you become weaker, right? All of this stuff.
And there can be sort of this physical manifestation of that in not eating enough, not nourishing our bodies, in over exercising, right? In sort of these things that physically women are sort of supposed to be small, right? You're supposed to be small and thin and slim and not have a lot of muscles. And so there's a lot of ways that these kind of pieces around our power, around owning ourselves, around accepting ourselves and not seeking approval and acceptance by being small and not taking up too much space, not asking people to accept the parts of us that are not as feminine and easy to get along with, right? There's so many elements there.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:14:47] Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's so interesting. And it makes so much sense to me now why reclaiming my physical connection to my body and also doing martial arts training to strengthen my body has been so profoundly empowering. I remember the first year I started learning and practicing the conditioning strength training exercises for martial arts from India. I could feel how my legs suddenly had large muscles. They felt large to me because I do a practice of oiling my body every day. It's from the Ayurveda tradition. It's a really beautiful practice actually for self worth and self-love. Because the oil itself, it's two oil, is called Sneha in Sanskrit. And Sneha also means to love. It's like you love yourself through the practice of oiling yourself, and it's really great for rejuvenation, for physical strength, for energy, for stamina, for all the opposite basically of what you were saying.
And it's become such a important ritual for me. I don't really let that one go easily because I feel it's necessary. And then doing the strength training and literally feeling my muscles growing was such an awesome feeling to know that, yeah, I mean, I may not be huge and I don't even necessarily have that as a goal that my body should be large or it should be a certain way, but just feeling that I am strong and feeling that I'm powerful and I can become capable of even physically defending myself if I'm attacked in the future, was hugely, hugely empowering. I was training as a dancer, all my life I've been in some or the other form of dance and there's a lot of this kind of self-defeating stuff that goes on in the dance world. Where again, you're trying to punish the body for being a certain way or make it excessively thin and all of that.
And I gave it up when I was on my healing journey. I just gave up the dancing. I felt I needed to go deep, really, really deep within to recover my sense of who I am and my personal power. But then I returned back to the same classical Indian dance form that I was not strong enough to be honest, to do, 13 years ago. I didn't have the stamina to actually do the training. It was so hard for me that it would literally make me shake and have some muscle spasms and all of that. And now after doing the martial arts training, I went back to it 13 years later and it's so much easier. And I'm learning so much more easily than I did before because I have this deeper connection with my body. I understand now the mythological stories that are being expressed through the dance. Because I've really learned and embodied and integrated them, and I've written about them in, The Way of the Goddess. And it's so cool now to even go back to that and feel that it’s a source of empowerment and it's a source of divine connection and a really affirming inherent worthiness as a soul.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:18:11] I love that. And as you're sharing, it's making me think of both my experience of, my favorite workouts are weight workouts, strength training workouts. And I don't use super heavy weights, like hundred pounds. I'm not doing that. But I really like to feel strong and powerful in my body. And that just feels very good to me. And I also am a dancer. And it's interesting because I have never liked ballet and I just probably never will. And I think for me, the reason, and I know that not everybody feels this way, but it feels very restrictive and it feels very tight and restrictive. And for me, I'm like that's not how I want to be in my body. It doesn't feel aligned. I feel like I'm working against my body when I do ballet.
But when I'm doing modern dance or other types of dance, it feels like my power radiates outward beyond my body, right? It's like this power to express, this power to communicate. My favorite dance company is Alvin Alien. If you watch them, their bodies are so power, the muscles, there’s just so much power there. And it reaches people, it connects to people. And so it's so interesting how all of these things can be both, depending on how you engage in them can be harmful, right? It can be harmful to be in dance spaces and communities as you're mentioning, where there is a focus on being small enough and thin enough and like, is your body looking the right way? And it can also be incredibly empowering, right? And same with exercise, right?
You can be in an exercise community that's about losing weight and about becoming smaller and about all of these things. Or you can be in a community that's about power and strength and health and wellness. And so it's such a, I hope message to people to be thoughtful about what communities and how are you engaging in these processes? Because there's very little that's all good or all bad. It's more about what works, what is it that you need? What feels empowering? And I wonder if we could bring in your insights about embodiment and maybe Ayurveda, you mentioned this body oiling practice. Which I love because I think that one of the challenges people have when they're sort of going on a self-worth journey is the cognitive, right?
It's like, I cannot get my mind to believe that I'm worthy. And a lot of what I talk about is what are the practices that you can engage in that treat yourself as though you are worthy now, right? You'll sort of mentally and emotionally get on board as you engage in these practices. And a lot of my practices are sort of cognitive in nature. I'm a psychologist, right? That's where I come from. But I feel what you're touching on with the body oiling and with your traditions and trainings, is that there are more embodied practices that might be even more helpful for people who really are having kind of the mental blocks around self-worth. And so I'm wondering if you could share more of those things.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:21:36] Definitely. So the body oiling is really, really beneficial. I feel even eating warm cooked foods is a way of offering love to your body, especially if people have suffered with eating disorders and other types of challenges. It's really, really transformational to acknowledge the divinity in the food, in the process of preparation. And then in your own self that the food is being offered to. I talk in, The Way of the Goddess about this idea of offering food to your inner goddess and realizing that that divinity that we usually look outside for is also within you. And so this idea of having some health practices as a form of devotion to that divinity, right? Which is not of any religion, but it's a universal spirituality. And I feel that that itself is really, really healing. And Ayurveda, we usually recommend only warm cooked foods because they're the easiest for you to digest and process.
And the digestion is the key to overall health at all levels, and this is a sentiment that is very much reinforced by functional medicine, by traditional Chinese medicine and so many other healing systems. The fire is, it's the element in the body that is digesting, transforming, metabolizing food and making it into nutrients that your body can really use. So when we are having warm cooked items, they have that fire to warm them and to make them easier for our digestive fire as Ayurveda looks at digestion as being a fire to be able to process and break down and give us what is beneficial from. I feel that act of just cooking warm, cooked foods itself is really, really therapeutic. And then giving a moment to give thanks for the food and to acknowledge that divinity in all of the chain of events that brings that food to you. It's really, really powerful.
Another thing I would say is really beneficial is also your sleeping and wake up times. We like to align with the circadian rhythms in Ayurveda by going to bed around 10:00 PM at the latest, waking up by 6:00 AM at the latest, or getting as close to those hours as you possibly can. That really helps you to process and digest all of the previous days inputs, be that food, emotions you feel, experiences that you've had or past traumas that you've gone through, that sleep in the hours of the night, especially from 10:00 PM to 2:00 AM is when your body is actually really processing and metabolizing all of those inputs. So when you're resting, when your body is in a sleep cycle, it allows that process to happen at a much more profound level, which then gives you physical health. It translates into wellbeing at all different levels. I would say these three things, oiling the body, eating warm cooked foods and aligning yourself more with circadian sleep rhythms would be really beneficial for loving yourself in practice.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:25:04] When I think about eating warm cooked food, one, it's sort of countercultural to American sort of tendencies around eating, which is quick and fast. Grab a sandwich, grab a salad. It's also counter to diet culture, right? Which so many women aren't sort of drawn into like, have a quick salad, just eat a salad, just eat a salad, just eat a salad, right? And an energy bar, right? A salad and energy bar and a smoothie, right? Nothing is warm about that, right? And not to say that those things are bad, but it's like if that is all you're eating. Are you really ever feeling deeply nourished? Versus someone makes a pot of stew, right? And they spend a couple of hours, right? Like simmering and developing the flavor and stirring it and it's this slow, or you're making it for yourself and then you sit down and you smell it, right?
And you're really eating it. And even better if you're eating it with someone you love, right? How nourishing is that on so many levels, right? There's the digestive level that you're talking about and it's somebody who has a history of digestive issues, it's important. And I often don't eat a lot of cold food or salads because my body does not like that. I need every digestive fire I can get. But it's so nourishing to slow down, to cook, to eat, right? Versus rushing, right? And I think if we go back to the context you set for us, which is pouring out, giving your power away, giving, giving, giving to everyone. So often we as women are sort of left with the scraps, right? There's no food left.
You're eating scraps, you're eating snacks, you don't have time, right? Or you're starving. So you're overeating junk, right? Or you're sleep deprived, so you're overeating junk, right? Food that's not really nourishing. That's what I mean by junk, right? Not that there's inherently bad food, right? And so it's to slow down and say, I'm going to nourish my body, I'm going to eat this warm, nourishing food is incredibly powerful. And then I think the thing with sleep is so important too, right? I think more and more people are having conversations about the importance of rest. And when we feel like we have to always be doing, it can be very hard to allow ourselves to rest.
And what you're saying is we need to process, it's not just about productivity and output, output, output, it's also processing and resting and restoring that's so important for our physical health, for our mental health, for our emotional health. And so if you can practice these things that Ananta is recommending, right? Like, take a nice shower or bath and massage your body with oil, eat a nourishing meal and go to bed, you're just going to, first of all feel so much better, you're going to feel so much better and it's going to be easier to feel worthy because you're giving yourself the things that you need.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:28:19] Absolutely. I feel it's so important because also the way that we treat ourselves then determines how we get treated by others and how much we value ourselves translates into how much others know that they need to value us in order to stay in our lives.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:28:39] Yes. Yes, right? It sets the bar. It sets the bar. And often what we want is that we neglect ourselves hoping and give to the world what we really need to be given to us. We give to friends, we give to partners. You sort of talked about this friendship that ended, right? You were giving, giving, giving. And I imagine hoping that that friend would give back to you at least some of what you were giving to her. And it's heartbreaking when it doesn't happen. And sometimes that can lead to resentment and the challenges we really need to start by giving to ourselves and that actually better shows other people in our life what we need and how to give it to us. It shows us where our boundaries are and it makes us better able to receive from other people.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:29:29] Absolutely. It's so important. I wish I would've kind of known some of these things earlier on in life, but sometimes you just have to learn the hard brutal way, but at least it's a lesson for life and then you don't forget it. I really learned a lot from all of those experiences and it was hard because I was actually part of a whole community at that time of people who I was serving. And I realized I actually had to start all over again. Because I had built a universe based on those patterns of giving and being a martyr and giving up my power that I actually fully needed to restart my life fresh on my own terms and to rebuild all my relationships because I needed to first really change my relationship with myself. And it's ironic because I had learned all these practices and I did do them, but at some point I needed to make that cognitive shift that, this is also important to value my own time and energy that keeps going out into other people and that keeps on giving away my power. So even though the practices of self-care and doing all these self-worth affirming rituals really helped me, it wasn't until I could really cognitively shift these ideas or these limiting beliefs and patterns that I had that I could really manifest a better life, right? And better relationships of all different kinds.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:31:13] What I hear you saying is we need both, right? We need the both caring for our physical selves and we need to do the inner work, right? That really shifts and helps to transform. And sometimes the way in is the physical because that's sometimes what we have access to and that can sort of set the stage for those mental and emotional shifts. And sometimes we go the other way, but we sort of need to get to both. I think the other really important thing that you're saying, which is a challenging thing, is sometimes we have to let go of relationships, of people, of communities that we have really appreciated and valued for a long time, but we're no longer going to fit into them when we grow, right? Usually if you're in a community, the setup is you're the one who gives, the setup is you never need anything.
The setup is you're always here early and staying up late and you handle everything. And so you try to switch it up and they're like, what? That's not the agreement that we had. And sometimes people are willing and able to move and shift and say, hey, I've been wanting to help you for all this time. I'm so glad you're asking. But sometimes people can't shift with you and they're going to keep trying to pull you back to that person you used to be. And in order to grow and evolve you have to move out of the community or out of the relationship or out of whatever situation is trying to hold you to the smaller version of yourself. And that's a loss, which is hard, but what you gain is the freedom and the power to be your full selves.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:33:01] That just summarizes my whole journey of the past four years of rebuilding and transforming and letting go. And it's been very hard, but very rewarding at the same time. Very liberating. It's worth all the difficulty involved with removing yourself from toxic influences.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:33:25] And I'm guessing that that's in part what your book is about, The Way of the Goddess. I just love you to talk more about what do you mean by The Way of the Goddess? What do you mean by discovering your true self? What does that mean to you? Help us to understand.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:33:44] The title of the book came at the very end after all the editing rounds had been completed. We really just needed a proper title for the book. So my agent and my editor who was helping me with the book, collaboratively came up with this title. And I feel that, The Way of the Goddess is really about the journey of the warrior mother goddess, Durga, from the vedic spiritual tradition, who is a mythological goddess who fights all kinds of demons that are deeply symbolic of the demons we have to fight within ourselves to be able to discover our true self, which is our soul, which is the same in me as it is in you, which is also within all living beings. I found a lot of strength in these empowerment stories and this idea of even waging war within yourself.
It's kind of reflected also in Islam when they say the greatest Jihad is the conquest of self. So they may not have fully explained what that means in their approach. Usually it's kind of misinterpreted and a lot of these things from different mythological places or religious places can be really misunderstood. But what I see this as is a universal spiritual roadmap through mythological stories and through these empowering role models to really be able to fight that war within and to really look at these inner demons that cause us to betray our own self. Like when we give to others at our own expense, for example. And to recognize where they came from, acknowledge them, accept them, forgive ourselves for them, forgive the other for being a part of that cycle, but recognize that it's not about the other. It's never an outer demon who we're fighting.
It's always us fighting our own self that is reflected in the other, because we only would allow them to treat us a certain way if we're okay with treating ourselves that way. So that's where I feel, The Way of the Goddess is really about returning back home to your own self and knowing who you are beyond just this body, beyond just the mind, beyond just the intellect, but really knowing yourself at that core deep spiritual soul level, which is the same in all living beings. And so in that sense, it's also not a book just for women. It's truly a universal empowerment heros journey that a goddess, Durga, is going on and transforming into different avatars for each of the nine days that are involved with the nine night worship ritual. It's traditionally a worship ritual, but it's a nine night festival of the goddess.
It's just all mythological deities. You have these different gods and goddesses and they're just meant to be stories that remind us of our own power within. If we can really wage that war and ultimately to give up our desires. It's said in all the world's great religions, that desire itself is the demon in the mind. And so when we can really look at our desires, right? Like the desire for love from outside, the desire for approval, the desire for validation, and we can actually learn to take up higher desires or higher ideals, which are not just involving ourselves but are really benefiting others in a truer sense, then we can lessen that desire for approval that leads us away from ourselves, right? We can actually become a lot more powerful when we become more independently able to meet our own needs. And able to have higher desires that are benefiting more people and looking at ourselves as an instrument who can be of service from a place of being full, of being nourished, of being healthy, of being happy, and then having service rather than be a source of resentment for overgiving become a source of expression of really profound deep gratitude.
So the whole journey is really about that process of healing oneself as a way to prepare, ultimately to serve as many living beings as possible. Because the more we seek to serve in our ideal, the more we're able to drop the lower kind of clinging and attachments that we have, and then the more we ultimately achieve in life because we're motivated by something bigger than money. Bigger than fame, bigger than name or popularity, but something that's really ancient, right? Like something rooted in deep values, which are universal, which are spiritual. And so the book is really about that, leading and serving and giving from a place of gratitude and a place of fullness and self-worth as our offering in a sense.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:38:58] I love that you frame it that way. And there's so many parallels to kind of how I talk about self-worth as well. Because I'm sure you get this concern, but there's often a concern like, is this going to make me selfish, really am I being selfish if I focus on myself or if I take care of myself or whatever, isn't that selfish? And I think it's particularly true for women. What we have talked about are socialized into being selfless and sort of neglecting themselves, pouring out to every other people. And it's like, no, meeting your needs is not selfish. And in fact it nourishes you and better prepares you to show up and share your gifts with the world, with the people in your community and your family from a sustainable place and in a sustainable way. Not in a, I'm desperate for approval, please like me, please approve of me.
I'm overworking, do you like this? Are you sure you? Rright? Not from that way, but from a deep sense of these are my gifts that I'm here to share with the world and I feel powerful when I'm sharing them and I'm passionate about it and I don't share them to the point that I'm worn out. I share them and then I return to myself and nourish myself and I show up and share them again. And I share them in an aligned way that is generative not depleting. And so I think it's so important for people to understand that it's not that we're saying take care of yourself and navel gaze for the rest of your life and never do anything for the world. It's that we're saying if you have been overworking and burned yourself out, you probably need a space and a period of rest and restoration where you really do focus on yourself and you're not really giving very much . And then you can emerge from that in a place of power and giving from a place of balance and sort of these higher desires or values versus giving from a place of depletion and smallness and desperation.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:40:59] Exactly. I love the way you put that. It's so true. Because we do so much of that unconsciously looking for something in return like beggars going with the begging bowl, please love, please take care of me. And this is really teaching people step by step path to come from love, to come from fullness because if you're the thing that you're looking for, then you no longer need to look outside for that, it already is within you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:41:30] Yeah. Can you share a couple of the steps that are on this path that you guide people through.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:41:35] Yeah, sure. So The Way of the Goddess has a nine step process, which is taking you through cultivating the power of stability and the root chakra, which is, do you know about the chakras?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:41:44] Mm-hmm.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:41:45]. Okay. Yeah. So they're basically energetic vortexes, which are responsible for physiological and even psychological functions. And the root chakra is about a connection to the earth. So that's where we really focus on getting grounded. And once we have a foundation of stability and grounding, we then can become creative and expressive and channel our emotions into spiritual power in the second step. And when we have a foundation of stability and have learned to manage our emotions and move them into a higher pursuit, it ignites the spark of transformation which we unlock in the solar plexus chakra. From that place of transformation and owning our power, we can open our hearts then to love ourselves as the gateway for loving all others because the self in us is the same as the self in all others.
And then the 5th step is where we practice expressing ourselves through sound as well as silence. And this is where we cultivate the power of voice through both the speech and silence. And then from this quiet place of listening, we can really access our intuition, which is what we cultivate in the 6th step, to really be able to take back our power in the face of gaslighting and in the face of narcissism. And to be able to identify anyone who is a narcissist in our lives, who is taking away our energy. And then in the 7th step, we really practice transcendence of the pairs of opposites in life. There's always going to be, joy and sorrow, loss and gain. And we have to learn as human beings how to go beyond the oppression or the trauma of these constant pairs of opposites, absence and presence, right? Everything can be there with an opposite.
And if even if we have something that's positive, we can have a lot of fear attached to losing it. So we learn to develop equanimity in the face of these pairs of opposites, which is coming from our trust and our own intuition. And then when we really, dispel our illusions, which is also what's happening with the power of truth and the practice of transcendence in the 7th step, then we have in the 8th step a new beginning. And this new beginning is informed by being free from illusions and by being connected with the ultimate reality and knowledge of who we are as deeply spiritual beings. And from there then when we are rejuvenated, once we have really given our inner child a lot of joy and pleasure and fun of a spiritual kind, which is not clinging or knowing or thinking that the fun is coming from an external source, but actually knowing that it comes from within, but can be experienced without being craved or run after in the 8th step, then we come full to be able to serve and to lead with intention and integrity in the 9th and final step of the journey.
And then we always have a 10th day or a 10th step where we really focus on celebrating the eternal victory of the light over darkness. And that's a really important part of the whole process because it's an intense journey and it's important to celebrate the victories, to propel us on to do more, and to feel that we can go on and continue to conquer more and more of our own inner demons.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:45:28] That sounds wonderful. And as you're sharing, I'm thinking about how many parallels there are of the steps and the processes that I take my group coaching members through. We sort of start with what is your self-worth journey been thus far? What's the story that you've been told and you're telling yourself around what's making you unworthy? We work on self-compassion so you can manage those emotions and respond with kindness, work on self-forgiveness to release some of these things in the path that are dragging you down, that you're beating yourself up over. And then we move into self love and acceptance so that you can love and accept yourself to prepare you to receive love and have healthy relationships, and then also release toxic relationships, right? So sort of parallels to what you're talking about.
And then we go into tapping into listening to your inner wisdom, connecting to your values, and then rewriting your story so you can sort of incorporate the challenges, but from a wise, compassionate place so you have a renewed understanding of yourself and your life. You're sort of ready to move forward. So there's so many parallels between this sort of nine step, 10 step process that you're laying out and kind of what I guide people through. I love when there are parallels like that because to me, whenever, and yours is certainly grounded in deep ancient wisdom, I would say mine is grounded in wisdom of working with lots of clients and little less ancient. I think whenever I see sort of parallels around healing processes, I get really excited because it just feels like there are so many different ways that people and healing traditions are getting at something similar. And the actual process may look a little bit different, but there's some wisdom that's running through these various traditions in terms of how you heal and how you tap into your power and how you tap into your worthiness. So it's really cool to hear that there's alignment there.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:47:43] Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. I love hearing that.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:47:46] Awesome. Well it has been so wonderful to talk with you today and to have you bring your wisdom and the insights you have from the traditions that you follow onto the podcast. And I really love how our discussion really touched on different ways to take care of ourselves and tap into our worthiness and think about some of the challenges that so many of us go through and how to overcome them. And I know that people are going to be curious about your book and curious about your teachings and how to connect with you further. So could you share a bit about that.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:048:23] Yeah, sure. Thank you. So you can find my book, The Way of the Goddess, wherever books are sold online or in-person if you're in the United States. Then you can learn more about me and my work at the theancientway.co. And we have our community and programs and such there. And then you can also find me and follow me on Instagram and Faceook at, ananta.one.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:48:58] Awesome. Well, thank you Ananta. It's been a joy. You've shared so much wisdom and I really appreciate it and I know the listeners are going to get so much from everything that you shared.
Ananta Ripa Ajmera [00:49:11] Thank you so much for having me and for sharing your heart and for all of your wisdom as well. I really enjoyed speaking with you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:49:18] Thank you.
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This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana and the music is by Wataboi.
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Are you curious about how to start embodying self-worth? Today’s guest is here to highlight five unique self-worth embodiment practices you can use to start embodying worthiness each and every day.
In this episode, I welcome Ananta Ripa Ajmera, a Spiritual Teacher, Author, and Co-Founder and CEO of The Ancient Way, an organization that supports you to embody ancient wisdom in a way that unfolds your true Self. The Ancient Way offers a Spiritual Warrior Certification Program, Ayurveda Wellness Ambassador Program, and spiritual wellness retreats.
Listen in as Ananta and I talk about how food, rest, physical activity, relationships/community, and even Ayurvedic body oiling can impact your relationship with self-worth.
In Ananta’s book, The Way of The Goddess, she describes the idea of offering food to your inner goddess and realizing that the divinity we often look outside of ourselves for is also within us. Having health practices and rituals in place as a form of devotion to that divinity is very healing, especially for our self-worth.
A few of the following practices are based on principles of Ayurveda, an ancient system of medicine based on the idea that disease is caused by an imbalance or stress in a person's consciousness.
Let’s explore some ways we can begin to embody our divine self-worth…
5 Embodiment Practices for Self-Worth:
Eating warm, cooked foods is a great way to offer love and deep nourishment to your body, especially for people who have experienced eating disorders or other challenges with food. “Digestion is the key to overall health,” Ananta says. “It’s really, really transformational to acknowledge the divinity in the food, in the process of preparation, and then in your own self, who the food is being offered to.”
Align yourself with your circadian rhythm and allow yourself to rest. Getting as close as you can to waking up at 6am and going to bed at 10pm (at the latest) helps you to process and digest all the inputs of the day, like food, emotions, past traumas, and other experiences. 10pm-2am is when your body is really processing and metabolizing all of those inputs, so if you’re resting during that time, you can process at a much more profound level. This ultimately translates to strong well-being and physical health, making it much easier to feel your innate worthiness.
Practice body oiling, also referred to as “sneha” in Sanskrit. Sneha has two meanings, “to love” and “to oil”. Applying oil to the body each day, specifically after you bathe, promotes rejuvenation, physical strength, energy, stamina, and so much more. Most of all, it’s an opportunity to check in with yourself each day, connect with your divine worthiness, and acknowledge the beautiful changes happening to your body as you progress through life.
Practice strength training, dance, or martial arts. These physical activities are rich sources of empowerment, mind/body connection, and affirmation of worthiness. They help you to feel capable of overcoming challenges, building strength and confidence, and finding power in your mind and body during times that you feel powerless.
Let go of relationships, people, and communities that are no longer helping you grow. Sometimes, when you decide to make a shift, people are willing to shift with you so you can keep growing. Sometimes, people just aren’t willing to shift with you and they might even try to keep pulling you back to the person you used to be. In order to grow and evolve out of these situations, you have to accept that loss, but in return, you gain the freedom and power to be your full self.
In our discussion, Ananta emphasizes that how you treat yourself determines how you get treated by others. Additionally, how much we value ourselves informs others of how much they need to value us in order to stay in our lives. Sometimes, we learn this the hard way… Other times, we can stop these patterns and decide to go down a different path - a path of unshakeable self-love, self-respect, and self-worth.
About Ananta Ripa Ajmera (she/her):
Ananta Ripa Ajmera is an award-winning author, spiritual teacher, co-founder and CEO of The Ancient Way, an organization that supports you to embody ancient wisdom in a way that unfolds your true Self. The Ancient Way offers a Spiritual Warrior Certification Program, Ayurveda Wellness Ambassador Program, and spiritual wellness retreats. Ananta is also advisor of Ayurveda at THE WELL, a modern wellness club, where she writes articles, offers workshops, and works with a team of integrative medical practitioners. The author of The Way of the Goddess: Daily Rituals to Awaken Your Inner Warrior and Discover Your True Self (Penguin Random House 2022) and The Ayurveda Way (Storey Publishing 2017), her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Newsweek, Forbes, Vogue, Yoga Journal, Spirituality & Health Magazine, Harper’s Bazaar, Well + Good, MindBodyGreen and on ABC News and Fox News.
To connect further with Ananta Ripa Ajmera:
Visit her website: https://theancientway.co
Follow her on Instagram: https://instagram.com/ananta.one
Connect with her on Facebook: https://facebook.com/ananta.one
Buy her book, The Way of the Goddess: Daily Rituals to Awaken Your Inner Warrior and Discover Your True Self Book: https://theancientway.co/wayofthegoddess
Check out The Ancient Way’s online healing educational garden for a variety of spiritual wellness offerings: https://theancientway.thinkific.com
This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana.
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