From Believing to Embodying Self-Worth
— EPISODE 85 —
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Dr. Adia Gooden [00:00:05] Are you a high achieving professional BIPOC woman who is ready to claim your worth outside of the hustle? Are you ready to experience joy, peace, and contentment as you make an impact on the world without overextending yourself? Are you longing for a space that centers the experiences of women of color where you can practice leaning into the soft life without being expected to explain yourself or be responsible for other people? If you answered yes to these questions, I invite you to apply, to join the Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program. Here's what one of my former group coaching members, Felicia, had to say about how the program helped her.
Felicia [00:00:43] The program has encouraged me to put myself first and to actually think about what I wanted. That was another thing that came up for me. A lot of the times with the prompts and the modules, like, I don't know, because I never stopped to think about it. No one's ever asked me what I thought or what I felt about these particular scenarios. And that's been fun just discovering myself because it's like I originally started this program or with the thought or the attention to get back to myself. And the reality is, there was nothing to get back to because I'd never explored it. I don't know. So now it's just getting curious about, well, what do I like? What do I want? How does this feel? And that's been incredibly helpful. And I'm excited for this, this new adventure to get to know myself.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:01:39] The next cohort starts the week of September 25th, 2023. Apply now, before spots fill up. I will personally review your application and invite you to join me for a call to discuss whether or not this program is right for you.
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What I do know is that even when things are hard, even when things are challenging, I know that I'm worthy and I show up for myself and with myself and for life, from the truth that I am worthy.
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Welcome to the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. In this podcast, I will guide you on your journey to connect with the true source of your self-worth. Each week we'll discuss barriers to unconditional self-worth, the connection between self-worth and relationships, self-worth practices you can apply to your life. And how to use self-worth as a foundation for living courageously. I'm your host, Dr. Adia Gooden, a licensed clinical psychologist, dance enthusiast, and a dark chocolate lover who believes deeply that you are worthy unconditionally.
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Hello and welcome to season six of the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. This is episode 85. It is still hard to believe that we are here. I am so grateful to you for listening, to my podcast management team, without whom this podcast would not be possible. And this season, we're going to hit a hundred episodes. So by the end of the season, the last episode of this season six is episode 100. So it's very exciting. I am recording this in the summer. It's July. Amani is turning 14 months tomorrow. She started walking a couple of weeks ago. So it's so fun to just see her toddle around and try to carry things and do all of those things. So it has been a fun summer and I'm really excited about all of the episodes that we have coming up for you this season. I feel really honored that we have a couple of heavy hitters coming on the podcast.
Like people who I was like, this would be a kind of a dream to get them on the podcast. Like they have hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram. And I was like, okay, maybe we could, maybe we should just go for it. And they said yes, and they came on the podcast. And so I feel really honored and excited. We're going to be bringing you some really awesome episodes this season, and as we sort of always do, I'm starting with a solo episode this time. So we're going to have a solo episode, and as always, we have some solo episodes in the mix throughout the season as well as some awesome, awesome guests.
So let's get into the show. So today we are talking about the difference between [00:05:00] knowing something intellectually, right? Like intellectually knowing that you were unconditionally worthy and truly embodying your unconditional self-worth, or truly living from the truth that you are unconditionally worthy.
And I'm bringing this up because I'm guessing that a lot of you listening, probably on an intellectual level, if I asked you, Hey, do you think you're worthy? Like, do you think that you're worthy of love and care and respect? Like, if we put that sort of in an abstract term, I'm guessing that a lot of you would say yes, right? Like, I am worthy, right? And yet, I'm also guessing that there is some disconnect between how you sort of think about this worthiness thing intellectually and how you live it out, and whether or not you're truly living from that truth. And I want to talk about that tension and how you move from an intellectual understanding that yeah, in theory, you're worthy, right? Like in theory, that makes sense, in theory everybody's worthy to a place where you truly believe and embody that. And really, this makes me think about the time that I spent working at the counseling center at the University of Chicago.
So I'm a licensed clinical psychologist, for those of you who don't know or don't remember. And I spent the sort of first major job I had outside of training postdoc graduate school was at the University of Chicago. So I was a staff psychologist in their counseling center. And the last time I checked the University of Chicago was top five universities in the US. So very highly ranked university, and it attracts very intellectually, sort of traditionally intellectually smart students, right? Whether they're in undergrad or graduate school. And University of Chicago actually has more graduate students than undergrad, but it's some of the smartest people sort of in a traditional intellectual space in the world. And I want to sort of put that caveat on there because I do think that our intellect, right? An intellectual knowing is only one form of intelligence, right?
And so there are lots of different ways that we can know and be intelligent and be wise in the world. And our intellect is only one of them. But often for those of us who are high achieving, myself included, we have relied often too much on our intellect and our intellectual knowing, and we often overlook and ignore other ways of knowing and being. And so I'm just sort of putting that asterisk there so that you know that being intellectually smart is not the only way to be smart. Especially when we're thinking about this in the framework of often that is sort of aligned with white western ways of knowing, which is, only one way to know. So anyway, when I worked at the University of Chicago, I was working with some of these really brilliant, really intelligent people, students.
And even though they understood a whole lot intellectually, they often really struggled with knowing truth and believing truth in an embodied way, particularly believing that they were worthy, right? Like this was a big struggle, right? They might get a great grade on a test or understand physics to an extent that I never will. I mean, maybe I could if I tried, but I don't really care to. But they would sort of understand these things intellectually, but believing that they were worthy and embodying their self-worth was a huge struggle, right? They were suffering from anxiety and perfectionism and depression, and sometimes suicidal thoughts and ideation because they didn't truly feel that they were worthy, right? They knew they were smart, but they didn't feel good enough. And a lot of my work with these students, with these clients was helping them to understand that they were worthy, to embody the practices that we were talking about.
Whether that was coping strategies for anxiety or depression. A lot of it was trying to get them out of their heads and into the world, into their bodies so that they could live in a different way, because they spent so much time in this intellectual space. And ironically, or maybe not ironically, UChicago was a place where people operated more from theory than from practice. So there was this unofficial saying that was really kind of a wonky, they all use that word. And it basically, the saying was, it's great that it works in practice, but how does it work in theory? And this is a funny saying, because usually [00:10:00] what we say, what people who are researchers, right, are saying is, it's great that it works in theory, but how does it work in practice? But at UChicago, people were much less concerned with how things worked in the real world, how things worked in practice, and much more concerned with how they worked in theory, right?
And so we really have to turn this on its head, right? Because theoretically believing that you're intellectually worthy is fine. It's a start, but it's not enough, right? Like if in theory you believe that you are unconditionally worthy, you'll believe that you are worthy. But in practice, you treat yourself poorly. You overwork yourself, you criticize yourself, you never make time for rest. You settle for things that shouldn't be settled for, you accept the bare minimum. If in practice that is what your life is looking like, it's not going to feel good. And that is not living from a true place of worthiness, right? So if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you may be sort of on board with this. Yeah. In theory, I'm worthy. And you might agree, if I asked you that you shouldn't have to do something to prove your worth and that you do deserve to be loved unconditionally, and that's a great first step.
But are you truly embodying unconditional self-worth? Right? We cannot just live from a space where unconditional self-worth is an abstract construct in your head. You've got to move it into your heart, into your soul, into your body, right? Your belief in your unconditional self-worth actually has to guide your thoughts, your behaviors, and your decisions. That's what it means to embody unconditional self-worth, or to truly live from a place of unconditional self-worth. When you do this, you treat yourself with care and compassion and respect. You show up authentically throughout your life and actively create the life that you want for yourself. And this doesn't mean that everything is perfect, right? Like I've said this before on the podcast, everything in my life is not perfect, right? That's not what I'm selling. I'm not selling a perfect life.
But what I do know is that even when things are hard, even when things are challenging, I know that I'm worthy and I show up for myself and with myself and for life from the truth that I am worthy. I offer myself care and compassion. I don't beat myself up. I acknowledge when I make mistakes and when I have failures and what I can do better, right? But I know that I'm worthy, and so I don't beat myself up. And I will also say that the life I have created for myself, the life I am creating for myself is so much better, right? The things that I attract, the things that I allow and the things that I don't allow are so much better now that I truly believe that I'm worthy than they ever were or ever really could have been when I was still stuck in a space of trying to prove that I was worthy.
So here's my question for you. Are you actually living from the truth that you are unconditionally worthy? Are you embodying unconditional self-worth in your life? So let's have a little contrast conversation, right? Let's start by talking about what life might look and feel like for you when you're not embodying unconditional self-worth. And then we're going to talk about what it might look and feel like when you are embodying unconditional self-worth. So if you are not in a space of truly embodying your unconditional self-worth, you might be feeling exhausted and overworked because you're everyone's go-to person in your personal and professional life, right? Like, who's going to do it? You're going to do it. Oh, get so-and-so to do it. Oh, they're so great. They can always do it, right? And you have a hard time setting boundaries because it feels like other people's approval and the fact that other people turn to you for help and support and guidance for you to fill in and make something happen that gives you a sense of worthiness, right?
Like you derive some worthiness from other people needing you. But the problem is that this may result in feelings of frustration and exhaustion and maybe even resentment, because you keep prioritizing everyone else. You keep over-functioning for everyone else. And the truth is, you're ready to start prioritizing yourself, right? Like you're ready to, yes, [00:15:00] you want to give, right? Like generosity is probably in your nature and that will never go away. But you know that if you continue on this path of overgiving and overextending yourself and not setting and keeping your boundaries, that you're running to burnout, right? And that you're not going to be able to sustain this. And so it's time to really walk the walk and claim your worth and claim that you are also worthy of your time, right? You are also worthy of your energy and that your worth is not dependent on other people needing you.
Your worth isn't dependent on other people thinking that you did a good job. It's independent of that which makes it easier to say no and to set boundaries and to prioritize yourself. Another thing that you might be experiencing in your life, if you are not embodying unconditional self-worth is feeling like you've accomplished a lot, right? Like you've gotten the degrees, you've gotten the certifications, you've gotten the positions, but you still have a deep sense that on some level you're playing small, right? That you could do more, that you could show up in a bigger way. And when I say show up in a bigger way, I mean in an aligned bigger way, not in a way that you are overextending yourself and kind of doing what I just talked about, but really tapping into your power and truly using and sharing your gifts in a way that is powerful and has the impact that you want it to have.
This makes me think of my last job. And if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you've heard me talk about it. But I thought that my last job was going to be my dream job. I was so excited because I had a leadership position. I was overseeing a clinic and a community outreach program. I had a faculty appointment. I had conversations with leadership. I got to present to the board, right? Like, there were so many things that felt exciting and sexy, right? About this position. But the reality of it, the day-to-day reality of it was not what I imagined. And it was pretty miserable for me. Like it just was not the right fit. I just felt incredibly bogged down by the day-to-day administrative tasks. I felt bogged down by the mountain of emails that I felt I had to wade through every day.
I felt that even though I was working hard and doing a lot, that I was not having an impact. That actually this job was playing small for me. That even though it had the title and even though it had the salary, and even though it had the faculty appointment, that I was actually playing small in this role because I wasn't sharing my gifts. I was not doing the work that I knew I was called to do. And I knew that I needed to show up in the world in a bigger and more aligned way because I was withering there. My soul was withering and being weighed down by all of the frustration and the irritation and the anger around what was involved in that job that felt small for me. Does this resonate? Are you in a position where you are doing a lot, you're working a lot, but you know you're playing small on some level and you feel called to show up in a bigger and more aligned way, which requires us to own our worth?
Another way that not truly living from an embodied place of unconditional self-worth can show up? Is there being a disconnect between how the world sees you and how you see yourself? So you're your toughest critic, the world sees you as amazing, incredible. How could you be doing all of the things that you are doing that is so impressive? And you see every little mistake you are making, you see the problems, you see the issues, you see, I didn't do that right? I'm not good enough. You're constantly criticizing yourself because you feel that in order to be good enough, in order to be worthy, you have to be perfect. And you have not reached that elusive goal of perfection. And so you continue to criticize yourself. You might also experience this sort of disconnect between intellectual belief in worthiness and a true embodiment of your worth.
If you are trying to use external things, [00:20:00] appearance, accomplishments, possessions approval from others to make yourself feel worthy and you know on some level that it's not working, but you're not quite sure what to do differently. The disconnect between intellectually knowing you're worthy and truly living your worth might also come in the form of longing for partnership. And believing that a romantic partner will save you, right? Will finally give you that sense of worthiness and lovability that you have been longing for. I know that showed up for me for years, right? Like searching, chasing partnership and believing that, okay, if I could just find someone to love me, if I could just prove that I'm worthy and lovable, then I'll be good enough, then I'll feel worthy. And yeah, that didn't work. It wasn't until I truly claimed my worth and was living from that embodied space.
It wasn't until then that I met my now husband. And I think there's this great symbolism in the fact that I had been preparing for my TEDx talk on cultivating unconditional self-worth for about six months. And the month after, about the month after our first date, my first date with my husband, I gave my TEDx talk and I mentioned it to him on my first date. I was like, oh yeah, I'm working on this. He like found tickets, he took time off work, he did all of this stuff to be there. And so it's so interesting, right? That I had done all of this work to claim my worth to live from this truth, right? To release this idea that I needed a partner to be worthy. And that when I stood up on stage to give a speech, to give a talk about that very thing, my now husband was in the audience, right? That I had prepared myself emotionally, mentally, spiritually, to be ready to receive the love that I knew I was worthy of. And then it showed up and it came to support me literally and metaphorically. So that might be sort of another manifestation for you, right? Like sort of waiting for the partner to feel worthy, outsourcing this sense of worthiness.
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Are you a high achieving professional BIPOC woman who has achieved success through hard work and hustle? You've shown up, busted barriers and challenge low expectations, and now you're tired. You're ready for a space where you will be encouraged, supported, and where your soul will be nourished? I created the Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program for you. This program offers the space you are looking for. In this curated group of just 10 BIPOC women. I will coach and guide you to embrace your unconditional self-worth. This curriculum-based group coaching program is grounded in my 15 years of experience as a clinical psychologist, my research and expertise from writing and publishing a book on black women's mental health, and my own journey of overcoming perfectionism, overworking, and people pleasing to embrace and live from the truth that I am unconditionally worthy. Here's what one of my former group coaching members, Tony, had to say about the program.
Tony [00:23:37] To me, it's the best investment one can make in themselves. So do it. Don't let finances hamper you. Because we spend money anyway. It's the best investment in yourself.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:23:48] Apply now before spots fill up. The next cohort starts the week of September 25th, 2023. I will personally review your application and invite you to join me for a call to discuss whether this program is right for you.
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So I want you to just check in with yourself, right? As you're listening, does any of this resonate? Like have you felt any of these things that I'm describing as signs that you may not be living from a space of unconditional self-worth yet? Because it is possible, it just may not be happening yet. So that's what life might look and feel like when you're not operating from a space of unconditional self-worth. I also want to tell you about what it could look and feel like when you truly embody your unconditional self-worth. You'll feel free as you move through your days, because you're no longer held back by the mistakes and failures from your past, and you're truly pursuing the life of your dreams.
[00:25:00] When you know you're worthy. You have the courage to take the leap and do what your soul is calling you to do, to do the work, to show up in the world in that bigger and more aligned way that I am describing to you, right? That's what I did. I took the leap from my last job. I left it, right? To create my own business, to have this podcast. And if I hadn't done this, I wouldn't be talking with you today, right? Like, I wouldn't be sharing this with you, but I know that this is what I'm called to do. I'm called to help as many people as possible know that they are worthy, because I know that that is what will help you thrive and show up and share your gifts in the world. And the world needs your gifts. So that's what it feels like when you're free. You're moving through your days, not held back by the mistakes, but you are pursuing your life courageously. You are creating the life that you want. You also engage in your work with ease, showing up fully and sharing your gifts because you no longer feel like your productivity, your work, all of those things determine your worthiness, right?
You disconnect your sense of worthiness from the grind, the hustle, the working, all those things, right? I work less than I ever have before, and I make more money than I ever have before. And I work in alignment. And yes, I'm still in the early parts of my business. So there are some things that I have to do, like create websites and whatever that are not aligned with my gifts. Not always the most fun and easy thing. And eventually I will outsource those things, and I still do sometimes currently. But overall, the work that I do is in alignment, right? Is in alignment with my gifts. And it comes from a place of ease and not overworking.
The other thing that will be a sign and a signal that you are embodying your unconditional self-worth is that you're enjoying connected and loving relationships with family and friends and a romantic partner because you're no longer caught up in people pleasing and you truly accept the love that others give you. You also have a deep trust with yourself, and you use your internal wisdom to make major life decisions instead of anxiously searching outside of yourself for the right thing to do. Is this the right? Is this right? Is this right? Instead of being stuck in indecision, you turn inward to your internal wisdom and use that as your guide forward.
And you experience true peace and joy in your life, and you trust and know that good things are coming to you because you're worthy of them. So here's my question for you. Wouldn't life feel good if it felt like this? Wouldn't life be so good if you lived from this space? And I should also add that when you are truly embodying your unconditional self-worth, and you experience challenges because life be lifeing, right? And sometimes that includes challenges. You have the tools and you have the practices to help you navigate so that you are not, bowed over by it, so that you don't totally fall apart when something hard happens that you know how to move through those challenges.
So if all of this is sounding like what you want life to feel like, I want to invite you to consider applying for my Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program because it's designed to guide you to truly embody and live from the truth that you are unconditionally worthy. Through my program, I guide you through my signature framework for unconditional self-worth. This guide gives you a clear roadmap to not only believe that you are unconditionally worthy on an intellectual level, but to live from the truth that you are worthy. And I created this framework based on my years of training and experience as a clinical psychologist. I have worked with hundreds of clients over the past 15 years, and also from my own personal experience of struggling with low self-worth and overcoming low self-worth to claim my unconditional self-worth. So there are three core components of my unconditional self-worth framework.
The first is freeing yourself. The second is love yourself. And the last third component is be yourself. So in the Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program, you free yourself through writing your self-worth story, releasing conditions that have been placed on your worth and forgiving yourself so you can move forward from [00:30:00] the burdens and the stories that are holding you back. Then we move into loving yourself, where you release self-criticism that keeps you stuck. You practice and integrate true self-compassion, and you practice loving and accepting yourself in a way that truly works for you. It's not a one size fits all, it's a tuning in to understand the love that you need and offering that to yourself and truly accepting yourself as you are. It's not about changing yourself. And in the last core component, you are guided to be your authentic self through recognizing and releasing toxic relationships, which we often settle for when we don't feel worthy through learning to receive love.
So often when we believe we are unworthy, we don't feel comfortable receiving love because we don't feel we deserve it. And you're going to be guided in the powerful practice of tuning in to your inner wisdom and using that as your guide forward courageously create the life that you desire. You are guided to do some deep work in this program. It is mindset shifting, life changing work. This program guides you through specific exercises and practices to help you embody unconditional self-worth. There are lessons and modules, there are worksheets, there are guided meditations. And then we get together as a group every week where we meet on Zoom for an hour and a half. And I coach you through any challenge, any struggle that comes up, and you get the opportunity to connect with other women who are also on their own self-worth journeys.
My past group program participants have called the program brilliant in terms of how it's designed so thoughtfully and intentionally. And several past group members have told me that this is the best investment they have ever made in themselves. I wanted to give you a taste of what my past group program members had to say. So here are a few clips from them about their experience in the program and how it benefited them.
Speaker 2 [00:32:18] The main thing that was so helpful for the program, and outside of course the amazing cohort that I went through the program with, was realizing that there was nothing wrong with me. I always thought, and felt and I let noisy things from outside tell me that there was something wrong with me and how I was and all that kind of thing. And going through the program, I realized that no, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine exactly how I am and learning how to navigate my specific set of challenges with grace and being kind to myself. Because when I take care of myself, pour into myself, I'm then able to give and do more for others. And that's if I want to. Because that was the other thing I got from the program too, is that I was empowered to push back or ask questions around things. I didn't just do things because I should, or I was supposed to, or this is what other people wanted to keep the peace and all that kind of jazz.
Speaker 3 [00:33:23] A lot of times I feel like, oh, it's just me. Oh, what's wrong with me? And then when other people share like you too and it normalizes and it's like, oh wait, I'm not that special. Someone else has that feeling too. And it just normalizes my behavior where before I would hold onto it and kind of criticize and be self-deprecating. And when it's normalized, it's like, oh, that's part of being human. Others struggle with whatever.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:33:52] Yes, right? And even in that experience, it's like, oh, I can maybe give myself grace because this other person who I see as like this incredible woman, and she's really kind and awesome and she shares these insights and she struggles with it too, then maybe it doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. Maybe I do deserve a little grace. Maybe it doesn't make me unworthy. And there's something that's so much more powerful in that experience than anything I could ever say, which is, so many people experience this and you're not the only one. And you'll hear it and be like, yeah, yeah, whatever, Adia.
Speaker 3 [00:34:27] You're nice.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:34:28] Exactly. But when someone is sharing their story, and it's not for your own purposes, but it's just for them to share and process and you resonate, it's like, oh, okay. Right? And you feel yourself offering compassion and empathy to them. It's like, maybe I deserve a little bit of that too.
So through the Uconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program, you gain the foundation for living from your [00:35:00]unconditional self-worth, for embodying your unconditional self-worth. And this will free you to lead yourself and others from a place of personal power to pursue personal and professional goals with ease and grace, to navigate challenges and disappointments while offering compassion and grace to yourself and to cultivate true joy and contentment with the life you have and the one you are creating. If you are a high achieving professional BIPOC woman who has already done some self work through therapy or coaching and is ready to go deeper, to truly embody the truth of who you are, the Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program is for you.
This group centers the experiences of BIPOC women, and while I truly believe that everyone is unconditionally worthy, this is a curated group for high achieving professional women who are ready to take their self-worth journey to the next level. So that is why I have an application process. So if you're interested in joining the program, you can apply at unconditionallyworthy.com/program that's linked in the show notes. I will personally review your application. The application probably takes five, maybe 10 minutes if you're sort of sharing a whole lot in the responses. I'm going to personally review your application, and if the program seems like a good fit, I'm going to invite you to join me for a call where we're going to discuss your current self-worth challenges and how the program will help you overcome those challenges to create the life that you truly want for yourself. I don't invite everybody to join me for a call.
This is truly an application process because I'm curating a special group of women who are ready and willing and able to do this deep work. And it's such a special group environment. I have to ensure that everyone is willing to do the work because that's what creates the magic of the group. So based on our conversation, I will extend an invite to you an exclusive invitation. If it seems like the right fit to join the program. There are only 10 spots available for the group, and the next cohort starts the week of September 25th. So now is the time to get your application in. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, because the last thing you want is to look back six months from now and think about all the changes that you could have made but you didn't make, and feel like your life is in the same place where you're maybe in a space where you're intellectually believing that you're worthy, but you're still not truly living it.
I am so passionate about this work because I know how powerful you will be when you know that you're unconditionally worthy. And I know how amazing life feels when you are living from that truth. And I want that for you deeply. You ultimately have to want it for yourself, and you have to be willing to invest the time, the energy, and the money in it. But if you're willing, I would love to be your guide. So let's move from intellectually believing that you are worthy to embodying unconditional self-worth. I hope to hear from you. If you are interested in the program and you're not sure, like, is this a good fit, please feel free to reach out to me. You can DM me on Instagram at Dr. Adia Gooden. You could send me an email, dradia@dradiagooden.com. But reach out to me, let me know.
I'm happy to sort of have a short conversation and then if you can go ahead and apply and I will give you an answer about whether or not it seems like a good fit, and then we can have a conversation if it does seem like that. So it's a powerful program and the best investment that many of my group coaching program members have ever made in themselves. So if you're ready for that transformation, I hope that you'll apply. And as always, thank you so much for listening. We have so much good stuff for you coming up this season. It's going to be incredibly rich and empowering, and it's going to give you insights and tools and strategies. So keep listening to the podcast and please share it and leave a rating or review. Until next time.
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Thanks for joining me this week on the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. Make sure to visit my website, dradiagooden.com and subscribe to the show on iTunes so you'll never miss an episode. You can also follow me on social media at Dr. Adia Gooden. If you loved the show, please leave a review on iTunes so we can continue to bring you amazing episodes. Lastly, if you found this episode helpful and know someone who might benefit from hearing it, please share it. Thanks for listening and see you next episode.
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This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana and the music is by Wataboi.
Cali by Wataboi https://soundcloud.com/wataboi
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY-SA 3.0
Music promoted by FDL Music https://youtu.be/ZdQI7WQWi_g
How do you go from believing in your self-worth to fully embodying worthiness? 3 simple, yet powerful steps. Let’s talk about them!
In this solo episode of Unconditionally Worthy, I talk about the difference between intellectually knowing that you are worthy and truly embodying your unconditional self-worth. Then, I share three ways you can start shifting from believing you’re worthy to actually living your life from that truth.
We’re going back to the basics for this one, y’all… enjoy!
Knowing You’re Worthy vs. Embodying Your Unconditional Worthiness
Theoretically, believing in your self-worth is a good start, but it’s not enough to make a change in your real life. You may believe that you’re worthy, but in practice, you’re still overworking yourself, criticizing yourself, or settling for the bare minimum. That isn’t living from a place of worthiness and it certainly doesn’t feel good, right?
So, are you truly embodying worthiness or are you just holding onto the belief that your self-worth exists?
You cannot live a life where unconditional worthiness is an abstract concept in your head… you have to move it into your heart, soul, and body. Your belief has to guide your thoughts, behaviors, and decisions each and every day. That’s what it means to embody self-worth.
When you do this, you begin treating yourself with care, compassion, and respect. You show up authentically throughout your life and by doing so, you actively create the life that you want for yourself.
This doesn’t mean everything is perfect, but it means you are better equipped to handle life’s difficult moments. Embodying my unconditional self-worth means that even when life is challenging, I know that I’m worthy and I will show up for myself from that foundational truth. Embodying my worthiness means I treat myself with compassion and grace when I make mistakes or experience failure. It means I have the power to create and enforce boundaries in my life. It means life is so much better than when I was stuck in a place where I had to prove that I’m worthy.
So, are you living from the truth that you are worthy or are you still beating yourself up for not being perfect?
What it Looks & Feels Like When You’re Not Embodying Unconditional Self-Worth:
You feel exhausted and overworked because you’re everybody’s go-to person.
You have a hard time setting boundaries because you feel worthy when people need you.
You feel resentful because you keep overfunctioning for everyone else and have no time or energy for yourself.
You feel burnt out, like you can’t sustain your energy output any longer.
You’ve accomplished a lot, but you still feel like you’re playing small. You feel like you could have a greater impact in the world and that you could be recognized more for your effort/talent.
There’s a disconnect between how the world sees you and how you see yourself. Others praise you highly, but you see and criticize every flaw and mistake you’ve made.
You’re trying to use external things (appearance, accomplishments, approval) to make yourself feel worthy, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
You’re longing for partnership and believe a romantic partner will finally give you a sense of worthiness and lovability.
Do any of these resonate with you?
What it Looks & Feels Like When You Are Embodying Unconditional Self-Worth:
You feel free, no longer held back by the mistakes and failures in your past.
You have the courage to take the leap and pursue the life you want.
You engage in work with ease because your productivity no longer determines your worth.
You enjoy connected, loving relationships and accept love that is given to you. You’re no longer caught up in people-pleasing.
You feel deep trust in yourself and your decisions.
You experience true peace and joy in life, knowing that good things are coming to you.
Wouldn’t life feel so good if you lived from a place of unconditional self-worth? Believe me, it’s possible!
Here’s How to Start Embodying Your Unconditional Self-Worth:
Free yourself. Write your self-worth story, release conditions that have been placed on your worth, and forgive yourself so you can move forward freely.
Love yourself. Release self-criticism that keeps you stuck, integrate true self-compassion on the daily, and practice loving and accepting yourself in ways that work for you.
Be yourself. Recognize and release toxic relationships, learn to receive love, and tune in to your inner wisdom and use it as your guide to create the life that you desire.
Want to tackle this practice together? The Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program is designed to guide you to truly embody and live from the truth that you are unconditionally worthy.
The next cohort of the Unconditionally Group Coaching Program starts September 25th, 2023! Apply now to secure your spot: www.unconditionallyworthy.com/program
Not quite ready to take the leap yet? Enroll in the Be Yourself Workshop on Tuesday, September 12th, a 3-part workshop series where we dive deep into my signature framework for how to claim your Unconditional Self-Worth, here: https://www.unconditionallyworthy.com/UWWorkshops
This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana.
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