How to Take Your Career to the Next Level with Nicole Andrews
— EPISODE 76 —
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Dr. Adia Gooden: Does this sound like you? You're feeling exhausted, overworked, and undervalued, and you're ready to start prioritizing yourself. You are your toughest critic, constantly pointing out mistakes and tearing yourself down. You feel like you're playing small, and you want to show up in a bigger and more aligned way. The Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program helps high-achieving professional women just like you claim their work outside of the hustle. Through this program, you will show up for yourself, your family, and your community from a place of power, while finally experiencing the peace and joy you've been longing for. Apply now for one of the 10 spots available in the upcoming cohort of the Unconditioning Worthy Group Coaching Program. It'll begin the week of April 17th, so be sure to get your application in now. To apply, go to www.unconditionallyworthy.com/program. Can't wait to see your application.
Nicole Andrews [00:00:00] In five years, do you still want to be where you are now? And so you have to get strategic. And if you don't, that's why you join programs like that of Dr. Adia’s or programs like mine. You have to start to get yourself around people, understand your vision and purpose, and be strategic. Have a career strategy that will help take you from where you are to where you want to be.
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Dr. Adia Gooden [00:00:23] Welcome to the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. In this podcast, I will guide you on your journey to connect with the true source of your self-worth. Each week we'll discuss barriers to unconditional self-worth, the connection between self-worth and relationships, self-worth practices you can apply to your life. And how to use self-worth as a foundation for living courageously. I'm your host, Dr. Adia Gooden, a licensed clinical psychologist, dance enthusiast, and a dark chocolate lover who believes deeply that you are worthy unconditionally.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. I have a great episode for you today. Our guest today is Nicole Andrews. She is the career disruptor and she coaches mid-level career women on how to disrupt their careers. We have a really powerful conversation about the connection between self-worth and professional success and the challenges that people often women of color, people of color, people from historically marginalized groups and underrepresented groups experience as they navigate careers. And so, Nicole shares a wealth of wisdom, shares some strategies for people who feel like they're stuck in their career. So you're definitely going to want to listen all the way to the end to get her strategies because they're powerful. It was a fun episode, it was a fun conversation to have, and I know that you're going to enjoy it and find so much value from it. So let's dive into the show.
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I'm very excited to welcome Nicole Andrews to the podcast today. Nicole is known as the career disruptor and founded Nicole Andrews International LLC in 2019, offering career coaching, organizational consulting and speaking, all focused on teaching and inspiring ambitious mid-career women, how to disrupt the status quo on purpose in their careers. She also helps organizations do the same through her unique trainings and approaches to leadership development, career development and inclusion within companies using her custom frameworks, tools, and strategies. Nicole is a primary breadwinning wife, mom, and award-winning, former corporate executive serving as a vice president of human resources prior to her leap into full-time entrepreneurship in 2022. So welcome Nicole. Thank you. Thank you for being on the show today.
Nicole Andrews [00:02:57] Thank you, Dr. Adia. I'm so happy to be here.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:03:00] Awesome. So let's dive right in and I'd love for you to share with me about your own self-worth journey.
Nicole Andrews [00:03:10] Yes. This is such a loaded question to start off with because-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:03:15] I dive right in into the deep end.
Nicole Andrews [00:03:17] I know. Boy, you just hit the gut punch right away. So for my own self-worth journey, I would say it started, we all have experiences in childhood and things that we deal with, but I'm going to speak in terms of careers because that's what I do, right? So the career piece, I remember walking into my first corporate position out the undergrad and feeling like a culture shock. Oh my gosh, do I belong here? Asking all of the questions that really boils down to worth. Do I belong in this company? Do I belong in this team? Do I belong with this boss? All of these different questions that I started to ask. And so it was a culture shock because I was one of the few African American women in that particular department at the time.
It was very obvious. And just going through that process of trying to figure that out, I went through and ultimately I started out in sales and moved into HR about five years into my career after undergrad. And I'll say after moving into HR, it was almost like I started to become someone I didn't recognize. And I'll tell you why. I always tell people, if there are people listening to this podcast episode and you are HR, no knock. But I didn't start drinking until I joined the HR team. Okay, Sorry. Maybe TMI.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:04:37] The most of us started in like college, high school, college. You held out until that corporate HR job.
Nicole Andrews [00:04:46] I'm not trying to be goody two shoes, but I'm just saying I did not, as a sales rep, you get all the things, right? You get the open bar, you get all the other things. But I literally did not until I moved into HR, obviously because of stress and everything, but honestly, they were margaritas. It's fine. Sweetie fruity drinks. But there's a point, there's a point in that, the reason I say that is because I really started to find that I was trying to fit in and belong. And so I was dressing like others to try to fit into a group. I was even trying to speak a certain way or talk a certain way or look a certain way. And then ultimately something happened that really threw a wrench in all of this. I had flown out to Kansas in Arizona for this company to work on some HR-related things and came back and was told that, hey, you're my right hand. All of these different things. And within three to four months of that conversation, walk into a meeting room with our whole team and was told that someone else was being promoted to manager over me and I would've to train that person.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:05:55] Wow. So you were serving in the function enough to train them?
Nicole Andrews [00:06:00] Pretty much.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:06:00] But they were being promoted.
Nicole Andrews [00:06:03] Training them on my role and what I did.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:06:04] Wow.
Nicole Andrews [00:06:05] And so at that time, I remember the feeling of sitting in that room and everyone else knew that I earned that promotion. That I deserved that promotion. So my self-worth journey really came to, that was almost like the ultimate moment for me to say, hey, who am I going to be? Because I realized that I could do everything. I could dress like people, I could do all the things to be promoted, I could fly all over the place. I could do all of these things, but I was not going to be promoted based on me trying to belong and fit in. Like I can do all of these things, check all of these boxes, prove that I was “worthy” to other people and still not be promoted. So some of you can relate to that, still not be promoted even after I checked what I thought, every box that I needed to check. So it came down to saying, you know what? Whether I'm promoted or not, I'm going to be me. I’m going to be myself.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:07:03] That is so powerful. And I think it's a word for someone, right? Because I think we can go about this sort of process of trying to fit in and belong, especially on the surface because it creates safety. And I think particularly for those of us who are people of color, right? From historically marginalized or underrepresented groups, right? We feel this hypervisibility and you have this sense of, I don't want anyone to judge me for any other reason. So, okay, let me make sure my hair looks the way everybody else's looks, so I'm going to straighten it. Let me make sure I'm dressing the way, right? So we can start to make these little changes and then feel well, there's no room for me to say no, there's no room for me to set a boundary.
I got to keep doing, keep saying yes, right? And then to do all of that and get to a point where you're like, these people don't value me. These people do not appreciate me, right? It's so frustrating, right? And infuriating. And can be demoralizing too. And I'd love to sort of hear you talk even a little bit more about how that helped you make the shift to say, not that you were going to double down and try even harder to sort of bend over backwards to accommodate these people and make them feel comfortable and show that you're available and you can do it. But to say, ah, clearly I tried to play that game and that game didn't work for me, so I'm going to be me. Because y'all may or may not promote me, but at least I get to be me. Talk about what helped you to make that shift into authenticity.
Nicole Andrews [00:08:39] Yeah. So is so funny that you said safety earlier, Dr. Adia, because that's really what it is when we try to belong and fit in. And I actually did double down. I know people are going to be shocked. I actually did, I doubled down on, I was like well, at first I was shocked and at first, I tried to go in a different way, but it's hard. And that's what disruption is, right? We're going to talk about that. I literally felt like okay, what else do I need to do now? It wasn't because I don't want people to walk away with false hope thinking that if they don't turn things around tomorrow and if they don't change and stop trying to fit in tomorrow, that there's a problem. This is a journey.
You said it, this is a journey. It took me almost a decade to really figure out that I'm a nonconformist. I'm an outside-of-the-box person. Not extremist, but just, I do things differently. I think differently. And I have to own that. But what I did is, I actually started to slowly get back ingrained. Because I think everyone realized that that was wrong. I think people realized that. But what I ended up doing was, I remember there was an occasion where I still felt like everyone else around me was being promoted and other people were still advancing. And I found out, I know we are not supposed to talk compensation, but I'm going to say it. And hey, it is what it is. It's been a long time. People have moved on. But I realized that I was making less because I'm in HR, right? What you're making and what others are making, making less than someone. I had a bachelor's degree at that time, was learning two masters while working full-time. And there was someone, the high school diploma, maybe two or three more years of experience than I had in that particular field making more than I was. I've never shared that story publicly.
Making more than I was. And I'm about to get two masters. So at some point, you have to say enough is enough. Like that really is, there's a breaking point in your self-worth journey. Everyone has to get to that mentally. Like what is the breaking point for you? I would ask people to think about, and you know that you've had many, but what is going to be the final breaking point that you say, okay, I have to turn. So I went on this journey of starting to pull back from lunches with certain people. I started to go on this really inward journey of mindfulness and really thinking like I would go to my car even at work, you all on breaks. And I would just sit there in five minutes to myself to think or read a book or listen to something. And it started to change my mindset. It all does begin with your mindset. I had to realize that I don't need to impress anybody else. I'm good. And I started to actually go outside of the company and start networking with others. Because most people in that company wasn't doing that at the time. So I started to join associations. I started to gain mentors. So my name and brand from a career standpoint, not just inside that company, but it was known outside of the four walls of that organization.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:11:41] I love so much of what you said. So one is that you started taking ownership, right? Like you were taking your power back by networking, by doing things like meditation, by doing things that would support you. And I think it's really easy to fall into a victim mindset, right? And you could have, right? Because it's like you got passed over promotion. That was not fair. That was not right. You found out that somebody who has way less training and education than you is making more money than you. That is not fair. That is not right. And the pull can be to say, I'm at the mercy of this. I'm a victim of this. There's nothing I can do, right? And to then sort of like passively go through work and just feel like you are waiting for the company to recognize you for who you are.
And sometimes they're never going to do that, right? And so what's powerful is that you said, I started doing what I needed to do to get my mind right. I started meditating, I started going to networking events, getting mentors, right? Like creating my personal brand and not waiting for this company to realize that I'm amazing. I started connecting to other people. And I think that's incredibly powerful. Because when we fall into, I'm a victim and I just have to wait for the company to recognize me. We stay stuck and we stay frustrated. And we also are outsourcing our sense of worthiness onto this corporation, these bosses or whoever to affirm us. And we're just waiting for that. And we might be waiting forever.
Nicole Andrews [00:13:30] Yes. Oh my gosh. And there's something that you said about yes, it's so easy to feel like gosh, woe is me and I will never be able to navigate this. And I'm just stuck in this place and it's not a judgmental statement. I don't want people to think that there's judgment there. It's just that what can I control so I can control my mental, I can control my mindset. I can control what I'm pouring into me. I can control my environment, a lot of times who we're around either drains our energy or gives us energy. And so it's like that wasn't giving me energy in that space. And so I started to pull back and people noticed. But what I also want people to recognize in that, Dr. Adia, is it's not the company like there are so many people when I left that particular company that reached out to me.
That said, oh my gosh, they're going to miss you. And so sometimes it could be one or two people that are blocking. So I don't even want people to blame the company. It's not. The CEO or the president, whomever they may not know. Others may not know what you're dealing with. So that becomes like almost a safety net for us too, because we start wanting to blame and who can I blame for this? And it's just like hey, I knew the culprits and I knew I don't necessarily understand why it's happening, but I do understand that honestly, I can be intimidating. Can I say that?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:14:56] Yeah, you can say that.
Nicole Andrews [00:14:59] To get two masters. Hey, I'm just going to say it. I know for some people they're like the confidence, the arrogance. It's not arrogance, it’s just when you go back to start advancing your education, you're getting two masters. What does that do? People around you start to scram when you go back and you're like hey, I know that I deserve to be paid X. Well this is why we're doing this. And people they start to be concerned by that. When you start to go outside of the organization and people think, well we're not enough, people start to, It’s just so-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:15:27] And can we add to that, you are a Black woman and I want to add another layer. I don't live in the south, but you're a Black woman who lives in the south, right? And I just feel like there's a sense of like you should be grateful to be here often-
Nicole Andrews [00:15:40] Oh, yes.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:15:41] … for Black women. You should just be grateful to be here. We don't have to pay you equitably. We don't have to promote you. You got a job, be happy, right? And so then you start, you're going to be more educated than me or than my colleagues. You think you can go, right? That can be, as you're saying, it's sort of like a threat. It's like you're moving beyond your “place,” right? Like there's a sense of this is your place. We'll give you a little job, we'll pay you a little money, you should be happy with it. But then you start to move beyond your place. And people may not be happy with that.
Nicole Andrews [00:16:19] Oh my goodness. I'm glad that you brought that up because it is very different. And I don't want to make I'm hey, yes, there could be a difference in terms of like just the history. And there's a lot of history there that I know we don't have time to dive into today. But that can be a thing. It's like for women, this is your place. How dare you work outside of the home? This is your place as a woman of color. This is your place. You should be grateful that you're even here, that you have this opportunity. You have this title, whatever it is. So no matter who it is, based on their identity, there is a sense of you should be grateful for because, we know historically there have been underrepresented groups. I do DEI work, so we have to go there, right?
It's like there are historically underrepresented groups in the workplace. And so that's why there's still diversity, equity, inclusion work. And that's why the work still matters because it's like every person, no matter who they are, no matter what their background is, can be excluded based on a part of their identity, based on an aspect of their identity. And so for me as a woman and also a woman of color, it's like just be grateful for where you are. You should just be grateful. Why not be grateful for your bachelor's even, why are you going back to do all of it? Like why? But I will give credit to someone and obviously I won't call them out here, but they did say, Nicole, you'll be able to do everything with these. Like you'll be able to do and tackle whatever you wanted. This was also a person that I thought was an obstacle, like was a barrier. But they said that to me in private. So that's why I said people see it. When you dim your light hoping that people will not, like people still see your greatness. They're hoping that you don’t. They still see your light, they are just hoping that you don’t. So she recognized that even though she was blocking, right? So you got to still shine.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:18:10] Yep. I think that is so powerful. They see it. They are hoping that you don't, right? And I think unfortunately in the US, I can't really speak to other cultures, but in the US there tends to be a culture of winners and losers. Zero-sum, right? And there's a tendency around if you win, I lose. And therefore if I see you shining and I feel like that might make you win and therefore that would make me lose, that's a threat. I can't do that, right? Versus more communal cultures, right? That are if you win, we win, right? If I win, we all win, right? And so that culture can tend to make people feel threatened by your shine. And so it's so important getting back to this topic of self-worth to claim and own your worthiness. Because sometimes you'll have people in your life, and I encourage you to seek out people who are affirming your worth, right?
Like who can hold that space, who can see you for the truth of who you're right. And it's still important to claim it for ourselves in general. And especially when we are in environments where people want to squash it, want to communicate that you're not worthy, are threatened by you owning your worth, right? When you're in an environment like that, you really need to hold true to the truth of who you are. And one of the things that I'm curious about is whether you think there's a link between people feeling stuck professionally and people struggling with their self-worth.
Nicole Andrews [00:19:51] Of course. Oh my gosh, yes. So when you are in this whole, and you talked about it in your Break Your Soul Challenge, which I definitely loved this year. This whole notion of wanting to seek external validation or wanting to achieve more and more. And so when you feel stuck, you have to go and tap into, there's definitely an alignment of do I feel worthy to ask for this promotion? Do I feel worthy to leave this company? Because studies are now showing that women are loyal to companies more so than many other groups. And guess what? They're being penalized for it. They're not getting the raises. Typically, you don't see those salary increases in bonds unless you leave an organization or unless you ask for it. And they're doing neither. Or if they do, they're being penalized for that. It's almost that fear-mongering where they're starting to think, oh gosh, if I do this and I'm going to be outcast, so therefore I won't do it. So there is that alignment or that connection, that linkage to I won't feel worthy until, or if I ask for it and I'm rejected, what's then?
So I'm still left without, or if I apply for that job and don't get it outside of the company, then I'm stuck. It is a sense of that worthiness that, am I good enough? Am I able to go after what I really want? And if I can't, maybe I should just stay in exactly what you said, my safe space. This is my safe space. Even though it's not necessarily always your safe space, it becomes. It's like I don't know any other path. I don't know what other career path, I don’t know what other companies are available, what other industries? I don't know what skills I can leverage in the marketplace. And those are things that women are struggling with right now.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:21:37] Yeah. And I think to add to that, this sense of if you know that you're worthy to me, that actually helps you to tap into your gifts, your wisdom, your skills, and to claim them and share them. But if you're feeling unworthy and then as another layer of struggling with imposter syndrome, there's often this feeling of I don't know why I'm here. I don't know if I belong here. I don't know if I have anything to contribute. I don't, you know what I mean? This sort of, as you're saying, how do I even leverage my skills? And I think often as women because we're sort of socialized away from claiming our strengths, right? And claiming I'm good at this, right? We are not socialized into that because of that it can feel hard to even recognize what we bring to an organization where, and the fact that we are worthy to like just do our jobs, not like play the role of an administrative assistant if that's not our job or play the role of party planner if that is not our job, right?
But like to say we're worthy of boundaries around our work, we're worthy of like hey, I'm going to show up and share my gifts in this way and I'm going to own it. I'm really good at strategic thinking and planning and those are the types of roles and assignments and projects that I would like to be doing and I'm going to work for them. Because most men, I think especially like white men, that's what they're doing, right? Like they're owning it and they're saying, hey, give me these jobs, give me these projects. But I think often women, historically marginalized groups, it's like we can sort of feel I don't know what I don't know. I don't know if I have anything to contribute. And so then you sort of like hide and you shrink and you know what I mean? Then you're not growing as much professionally and you're not feeling as worthy to show up and truly share your gifts and shine.
Nicole Andrews [00:23:27] I love that. Dr. Adia too, because I want to go back to something you said about men and especially again, Caucasian men. I actually sought out a mentor and I had someone who served on a panel with me and connected me with a mentor who actually happened to be a Caucasian male who's about maybe 20, 30 years older than me. I'm not sure exactly, but it did so much for me because it helped me. Sometimes we don't want and then I had an African American female who was a mentor too. So I want to give them both credit and since then have had so many people in my life, be that support system that you talked about. But the differences between, I needed both of them and sometimes we have to get outside of our safe spaces. It's well, I won't seek this mentor because they're different.
I won't seek this mentor because maybe she is this or I won't seek it because he is this, I think especially when we're thinking about careers and disruption like we have so much to learn from each other. You mentioned that competition kind of spirit, the future is about collaboration. I'm sorry. It is about how do we connect to people who can help expose us to different perspectives. And so having conversations with him were very different than what I would have with an American female mentor. Both of them helped me see things and expose me to things that I probably wouldn't have been otherwise. And so mentorship and having a network is critical in all of this because like you said, they have no qualms about asking for that promotion. They have no qualms about going for that job when they know they only meet 20% of the criteria.
And honestly, this is a stat for everybody that you all can validate. Look up. Most AI, Artificial Intelligence systems that are scanning for your resume, scanning for your application, they actually will start to when your resume has over 90% or even hundred percent of qualifications, it actually looks false to them. So studies have shown that 50 to 60% of the skills on your resume when you're scanning for keywords on that resume, even if you have 50 to 60%, you are good because again, the more and more you start to it, it almost looks like it's fake. And so it'll screen out.
So if a robotic machine thinks that, it's like you don't want perfect, like what are the skills that you can leverage? Because it also shows that you have room to grow too. If you're already coming in with everything that's needed, then you're going to be bored in a few years. And the company recognizes that too. So don't try to check every box, have every skill, know that there's room for growth and be honest about that. Hey here are my growth opportunities, but here are the contributions that I can make right away. And I think, again, it goes back to that positioning. It's okay to only have 20%, 30% for your 50.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:26:11] Yeah. I think it's so important that you said that because we know that women in particular tend to only apply for roles if they feel like they meet like 90 to a hundred percent of the qualifications, right? Women feel like we have to be overqualified for a job in order to feel like we can even apply for it. And men often don't feel like that. They're like I got a few of those skills, let's go for it.
Nicole Andrews [00:26:41 ] I love that. I love that they are bold.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:26:42] And some of it is like I think it's important to remember women have an experience of like being punished when we go for things or when people feel threatened by us, especially men, right? So there's lots of dynamics that create this. So I say this is let's not get into like shame yourself and what's wrong with you that you just don't go for it. It's okay, like we are living in a society that has told you again and again and again in small and large ways, right? That you have to be perfect. That if you threaten someone as in terms of your strengths, you're going to be attacked and that you'll be sort of like questioned and put, you know what I mean? There's all this stuff that happens for women, for people from underrepresented groups. And I think particularly for people from underrepresented groups, I'm thinking especially BIPOC folks. This happens in Black community, this idea, you have to work twice as hard. You have to be perfect. And there often is this pressure that we work with of I'm the representative, I have to be perfect. I have to prove that Black people should be hired here, that I deserve to be here.
And all of that sort of creates this weight of I can only apply if I'm going to be perfect. And then if you add to that imposter syndrome, which says, if you're not perfect, you don't know what you're doing or it's not okay to learn, you should know everything, right? We get this sort of mix of things. So I would say if you are listening, the goal is be gracious with yourself, always be compassionate. And then see if you can start to identify the things that are holding you back and thinking, Nicole, about you sharing. You went out into your car and you're meditated, right? Can you give yourself the mental space to even think about, okay, what are the thoughts, what are the mindsets? What are the things that are holding me back, right? There are going to be some things outside of your control, right?
You're not going to be able to solve racism or sexism or whatever. But what are the things that are in your control and what are the truths about you? And who can you go to for support and find mentorship so that you don't just feel stuck in that? And I think with that, I'd love for you to also share, Nicole. Like if somebody is listening and they're like yeah, I feel like I've gotten stuck in my career. I feel like I keep getting passed over for promotion. I've been giving my all to this company and it's like I don't know what to do next, but I know that I don't want to stay here for the next five years. What are your recommendations for them if they want to disrupt their careers?
Nicole Andrews [00:29:26] I would say, there's again, so many different paths and also recommendations, but my first thing is you have to really understand who you are. It's hard for you to have a career or define what you want in your career when you don't understand who you are. And so to me that's really about vision. Like who do you want to become and what do you want your legacy to be? What's your overall vision for yourself and your life? And then tie it to that as your purpose. Like who do you want to serve and why? And we all talk about those painful experiences. The reason I'm the career disruptor and the reason I'm a career coach and all of these other things, organizational consultant, is because of those painful experience I've had in corporate that I feel I can now share with others in a way that, I've been a vice president of human resources.
I have my career coaching certifications, all of these other pieces, I have an MBA, a master's in HR. All of those things connect. And so what do you have, even if you don't have those things, what are the things that make you uniquely different? And how can you use those skills, that knowledge that you have in a way that nobody else can to contribute in a way that nobody else can, right? How can you take everything that you have, your experiences, your education and formulate something that's very specific to you and your secret sauce, your special sauce, right? So that's the first thing is understanding who you are and your purpose. The second piece I would say is we don't talk enough about women, we love nurturing and we love community, but unfortunately, we don't have a big network.
Studies are still showing that women don't have an extensive network of people to support them. That community support, that network is huge. And leveraging and nurturing those relationships, just like men do, like at events or at golf courses or whatever they do. We have to start having our network of women. And so the third piece I would say if someone is stuck or they're feeling gosh, they're not worthy or they don't know what to do next is once you build your network, it's really being strategic. There's a study, I believe that it was tied to PWC, but I could be wrong. That said, 85% of women don't have a career strategy. So that's a big part of what I offer women too. It's not, yes, the strategy is a part of it, but how do we implement and apply these things in your career and life now?
And most women, if you're not, if you don't think strategically about your career, where you're going, you'll find out in five years you're not where you want to be. Think about that like in five years, do you still want to be where you are now? And so you have to get strategic. And if you don't, that's why join programs like Dr. Adia’s or programs like mine. You have to start to get yourself around people, understand your vision and purpose and be strategic. Have a good strategy that will help take you from where you're to where you want to be.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:32:07] There's so much in there that's so good, right? So I think even this first part, finding a vision, I imagine that you work with a lot of professionals who are high achieving, who are the ones who got the good grades, went to the right schools, right? And sort of followed the path that other people set for them, right? Their parents said, their family said society said, follow A, B, C, X, Y, Z, make this amount of money, get this type of job. And I imagine that you're seeing people in their mid-career sort of waking up to, okay, I did all of the things, I did everything I was supposed to do, but I'm not sure if this role or even this career direction aligns with the legacy I want to leave or what I truly want to do, right? That there's been so much like get the masters, get the whatever, then it's like just now you're thinking, is this what I want, right?
There's actually, now is the space to think, is this what I want? Do I need to pivot? Do I want to do something else? And I think that's so powerful. Because it is easy to get into okay, I'm going to prove to other people, I'm going to please other people. And to miss out on, well, what is it that you truly want to do? What is it that aligns with your gifts and helps you to shine and feel alive, right? I think that visioning piece is so incredibly powerful. And I think sometimes it feels risky because when you do that, you may be sort of forced into a situation where it's like Ooh, I can't stay here, right? That happened to me and my last job, it's like I got this great job title. It seemed great. And I was Ooh, I don't like this and my vision is bigger than this, right?
The impact that I want to make is bigger than this, right? This is keeping me small. And so then I took the leap into entrepreneurship, which has been the best thing ever. But it's like if you're going to get honest with yourself about the vision, sometimes it forces you into making a decision to leave something that feels stable, but it's not helpful to be stable and miserable or stable and your light is dimmed. The risk is worth it. The leap is worth it. So that's like one thing you said. I think the second thing around networking is so helpful. It's something I need to hear. Like that's something I need to get better at. And I'm like pushing myself out of my comfort zone to hey, I'm going to reach out. Hey, is there a way I can support you?
But that's very uncomfortable. I think some of it is a socialized like I should wait. I should let people come to me. I don't want to be pushy, I don't want to be whatever. And so that's a definitely move out of my comfort zone. And I think the last piece, the strategy is really powerful too, because again, I think so many women in particular have been socialized is just keep doing your job well, right? Just the way you move up or the way you get ahead is just do your job. Do everything they say you should do, do everything they ask you to do. And it actually takes so much more strategy and intentionality than that. And so I can imagine how powerful it would be to have a coach like you supporting people in thinking beyond just do a good job. Because if you just do a good job, you may continue to be passed over for a promotion. But what roles and skills, what opportunities, what projects, what relationships and how are you leveraging all of that to build the career that you want to build?
Nicole Andrews [00:35:32] Absolutely. I know we are winding down, but Dr. Adia, this whole conversation is so powerful in many ways because what I want women to ultimately take away is that you can disrupt the status quo in your career and life on purpose. And a lot of times it starts with, yes, we talked about vision and purpose, but that really starts with owning your difference, owning your difference. So if you do nothing else, what is it that makes you different? And how can you start showing up like that at work and in your personal life owning your difference. And the second thing I will say to that is we have to start talking more about women supporting women. There are so many articles, so many things that talks about this. But I want to give two quick stories. One, I had a boss and she was leaving the organization and I will never forget, she said, Nicole, what is your ultimate career goal? What do you want to be, what do you want to do? And I told her what I wanted to do. And she was I want you to ask for that role now.
And I want you to, or at least for one of the stepping stones to that role. That was many years ago now, but it was my first managerial role. And for women who are listening to this, that is your most significant career step. I made it to the executive level. I made it to where I was only in with the C-suite. But my thing is I wouldn't have done that if I had never made that first managerial years before. And she was the one who said, I want you to ask for it. I want you. So that's what women's supporting women looks like. And then number two, it's this, I reached out to Dr. Adia after I discovered you on something. I could have said, oh, I'm not sure if she'll come in.
I'm not sure if she'll reach out. Oh, what if she rejects me? What if she doesn't respond? But she did and invited me to her challenge which was amazing and then invited me to the podcast. So I did a guest expert interview with you for my members and my membership. And then you did one for your podcast and then all of your programs like there's a partnership opportunity. Because I think people have to realize is that is the future of work is like who has a skillset that you can help advocate for and leverage and highlight and say, this person is amazing. Work with them. This is what that looks like. Dr. Adia did not have to respond and definitely did not have to invite me here today, but she did. And I also was like hey, who is she? I have to get to know this person. She is amazing. So that's what women supporting women looks like. You all, this is what it looks like. It's not complicated. And we have to ramp it up. We have to elevate women supporting women as we go into the next year.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:38:11] Yes. I love that. I love that. And it's been a joy to connect with you, I think we're going to be friends, right? I already feel like we're friends. It's clear that, and I'm so glad you reached out, right? And so often we're worried oh, I'm going to burden somebody. But it's like actually when people reach out to you, you don't feel like it's a burden. And so, it's like go for it. And again, it's like when you sort of own your worthiness, it's so much easier to take those risks because it doesn't feel like your self-worth and who you are is at stake. It may be disappointing if it doesn't work out, but it's not, like life-taking, right? You don't feel like the world is over. And so this work you can do around owning your worth, around moving through your career with strategy and intentionality is just part of creating a life you want to create. And you're worth an amazing life. So I really wish that we could talk for longer. But it has been such a joy to have you on the show, Nicole. And I know that people are going to want to follow up with you and learn more about how they can work with you and connect with you further. So please let people know.
Nicole Andrews [00:39:19] Yes. So you can go to https://thenicoleandrews.com and yes, that T-H-Enicoleadrews.com to find me there on my website. You can also find me on any social, Instagram, LinkedIn at thenicoleandrews official, so thenicoleandrews official. So definitely check me out. My email as well is on there. So yeah, I can't wait to connect. And Dr. Adia, this has been amazing. Thank you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:39:43] Thank you so much. It has been lovely to have you and I love our conversation, so we're going to have to keep doing this.
Nicole Andrews [00:39:50] Thank you.
[cheerful music starts]
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:39:54] Thanks for joining me this week on the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. Make sure to visit my website, dradiagooden.com and subscribe to the show on iTunes so you'll never miss an episode. You can also follow me on social media at Dr. Adia Gooden. If you loved the show, please leave a review on iTunes so we can continue to bring you amazing episodes. Lastly, if you found this episode helpful and know someone who might benefit from hearing it, please share it. Thanks for listening and see you next episode.
[cheerful music ends]
This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana and the music is by Wataboi.
Cali by Wataboi https://soundcloud.com/wataboi
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY-SA 3.0
Music promoted by FDL Music https://youtu.be/ZdQI7WQWi_g
Do you feel like you’re stuck in your career? Do you feel overworked and undervalued? Are you ready to take your career to the next level? If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, don’t miss this episode of Unconditionally Worthy!
In this episode, I welcome Nicole Andrews (MBA, MHRD), a Career Coach, Organizational Consultant, and Speaker. Nicole is known as The Career Disruptor® because she focuses on teaching and inspiring ambitious mid-career women how to purposefully disrupt the status quo in their careers.
Listen in as Nicole and I talk about the connection between self-worth and professional success. We discuss the self-worth challenges people (especially people of color) experience as they navigate their careers. Nicole also shares her personal journey with self-worth throughout her career and how she left her safety zone to start embracing her authenticity. Stick around ‘til the end for Nicole’s expert tips and advice for women on getting unstuck, disrupting your career, and applying for a new (and better) job.
Nicole says that everyone has a final breaking point in their self-worth journey that pushes them to make a change. For her, it was finding out a coworker with much less education and experience was making more than her. “At some point, you have to say enough is enough,” Nicole says. So, what is your final breaking point?
When people feel stuck in their career, there’s often a moment of hesitation when they think about asking for a promotion or taking a leadership position because they question their worthiness. They might also feel a sense of imposter syndrome that holds them back from advancing in their career.
Disrupting your career and taking it to the next level begins with your mindset. Nicole could have fallen into the victim mindset after realizing her pay disparity, but she decided to take her power back into her own hands. By networking, meditating, gaining mentors, and doing more things that support her professional success, she was able to disrupt the status quo and make a change. When you fall into the victim mindset, you stay stuck and begin outsourcing your worthiness to your bosses or your company… and we do not want that.
If we dig deeper into the connection between worthiness and professional success, we find that marginalized communities and people of color are historically undervalued and overworked. We’re often made to feel that we should be grateful to be working where we do, or even grateful for the fact that we have a college degree. Unfortunately, there are people that will see your greatness, feel threatened by it, and hope that you don’t see it yourself. Fortunately, you have the power to shine brighter than their eyes can handle.
It’s so important to claim and own your worthiness, especially when you’re in an environment that wants to squash it. Here are a few steps you can take to own your worthiness and disrupt your career…
How to Get Unstuck and Positively Disrupt Your Career :
Identify the specific things or thoughts that are holding you back. What is and isn’t in your control?
Understand who you are and what your purpose is. It’s hard to have a career or find what you want in your career when you don’t understand who you are. Who do you want to become and what do you want your legacy to be? Who do you want to serve and why?
Build up your network and community of support.
Be strategic. Develop a career strategy that takes you from where you are to where you want to be. Most women don’t have a career strategy and that’s a huge part of getting to where you want to be.
Want to start building your community of support? Join the next cohort of the Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program, starting April 17th, 2023. Spots are filling up fast, so head over to https://www.unconditionallyworthy.com/program to learn more and apply!
About Nicole Andrews (she/her):
Nicole is known as The Career Disruptor® and founded Nicole Andrews International, LLC in 2019 offering career coaching, organizational consulting and speaking all focused on teaching and inspiring ambitious mid-career women how to disrupt the status quo on purpose in their careers. She also helps organizations do the same through her unique trainings and approaches to leadership development, career development and inclusion within companies using her custom frameworks, tools and strategies.
Nicole is a primary breadwinning wife, mom and award-winning former Corporate Executive serving as a Vice President of Human Resources prior to her leap into full-time entrepreneurship in 2022.
To connect further with Nicole Andrews:
Visit her website: https://thenicoleandrews.com
Connect with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thenicoleandrewsofficial
This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana.
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