How Owning Your Worth Helps You Own Your Money with Belinda Rosenblum
— EPISODE 78 —
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Belinda Rosenblum [00:00:00] You will never be nearly as successful as you can be financially, as long as you aren't looking at your money. As long as you're feeling a lack of self-worth because you're trying to fill a hole that is bottomless. It's like there's just not enough retail therapy that you can do, which is essentially spending money to fill a hole inside yourself because of your own worthiness.
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Dr. Adia Gooden [00:00:29] Welcome to the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. In this podcast, I will guide you on your journey to connect with the true source of your self-worth. Each week we'll discuss barriers to unconditional self-worth, the connection between self-worth and relationships, self-worth practices you can apply to your life. And how to use self-worth as a foundation for living courageously. I'm your host, Dr. Adia Gooden, a licensed clinical psychologist, dance enthusiast, and a dark chocolate lover who believes deeply that you are worthy unconditionally.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. I'm excited about the podcast episode today because I have my coach, Belinda Rosenblum here. She is my coach around sort of financial things and business things and stepping into my CEO role. And so it's been a really helpful experience to work with her and really sort of own myself as a CEO, as a business owner and really shift things for that. And I feel like this is sort of like me owning my own business is sort of the next level for me of kind of working on my money story and building new places in my self-worth journey. And so it's been really helpful to have a coach on this journey and I'm excited to have her here. She shares her own journey of having financial challenges to being a self-made millionaire. And, she talks about mindset shifts. We talk about mindset shifts of how you need to own your finances, own your worth, and how that sets you up for really living a wonderful life. I know that you're going to get so much out of this episode, so tune in.
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. I'm so excited to have my coach and friend Belinda Rosenblum here with me on the podcast today. Belinda is a CPA and profit strategist of Own Your Money. She helps busy female coaches and experts sustainably scale their revenue and profits by up-leveling their financial systems and strategies. And stepping into the CEO role with her signature Cash Flow CEO Accelerator Program, which I am a part of.
She believes it's time female entrepreneurs feel worthy and safe with money. Finally, enjoy the freedom they started their business for in the first place, and consistently take home the money they want each month. It is possible. Her recent breast cancer survival journey has even further inspired her to support women to create freedom-based businesses where they can take care of themselves and enjoy healthy, sustainable profits. Belinda is also the co-author of Self-Worth to Net Worth: 12 Keys to Creating Wealth Inside and Out and became a self-made millionaire at 33. If she's not inspiring you to be your best self, Belinda is likely cycling around town or outside playing with her marathon running husband, newly college graduated stepdaughter and two-spirited young kids. Welcome to the podcast, Belinda. I'm so glad you're here.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:03:45] Awesome. I'm like she sounds really great. That was a heck of a bio. Thank you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:03:51] She's.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:03:53] Thank you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:03:54] I love it.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:03:55] It's so funny because I was well, you could just give me your own description of me. I feel like you've known me now for a couple years at this point. Probably it's like dog years when you're in entrepreneurship, you know what I mean? But yeah, it's amazing. I'm excited to be here and I have been on the self-worth journey personally for years and really an advocate of prioritizing self-worth. Even though I've been a money coach and a profit strategist and all of that, for me it's always been grounded in who we are and who we believe ourselves to be first and foremost. And then we can layer on the money and the potential and the career and the growth and all of that. But if we don't have our self-worth, it's almost like the rest of it doesn't matter.
I've lived that, I've been in the corporate job where you're making a healthy six figures and you hate your life and then you're like wait, is this, what is this? Is this really all it's cracked up to be kind of a thing? Like what is this about, and it's not just about like the trappings of what other people see. It's about what do you believe about yourself and there were moments where I did not believe terribly good, happy thoughts about myself, and it took some work, it took some therapy, it took some coaches, it took some programs and some introspection because they feel like part of it is that when you're such a, I'll speak personally, I was such a driver and I kept myself so busy that there wasn't a lot of time to even have any awareness that I didn't have the self-worth and the inner confidence that I really wanted to have in my life as a woman. Sorry to go deep in the first like three seconds.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:05:47] No, I like diving into the deep end. Certainly. So that's perfect. And there's so much that you're saying that, I think what I want to do is like put a mental pin in it.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:05:55] Yeah. It's all good.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:05:57] I'm going to see if I can kind of hold these things because I want to dig deeper and I really would love to start with you sharing even a little bit more about your self-worthy journey. So you're mentioning sort of having that corporate job, six figure salary, realizing it didn't feel, great. So I'd love for you to just share a little bit more about your own self-worth journey.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:06:19] Sure. It's funny because every time I watch your videos or I listen to your podcast, I think about it. I'm like gosh, where did my self-worth journey start? And I mean, you guys are going to crack up when I was little, it's like my parents got separated when I was seven and I think that it really rocked my world from such an early stage, right? That they separated at seven, they got divorced at 11 and I stepped in as that older sister. I'll just take care of everybody when I'm at my mom's house. I'll do all the dad roles when I'm at my dad's house. I'll do all the mom roles and really was way older sort of in my responsibilities than I would've wanted for a 10-year-old than I hope for our 10-year-old because our son's almost 10.
So I think early on I started to teach myself the more that you do, the happier people will be. it was like a very early need for pleasing and for being chosen in the custody battle and like all, feeling like the divorce was our fault. There's so many emotions and we have to remind ourselves. So I'm 51 now. I like to think I look good for my age.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:07:35] You do.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:07:36] But these are things that I remember vividly from when I was seven when they got separated. It's like those things leave such a traumatic mark on us and we need to be able to heal. I've done a lot of inner child work, even like heal that child that felt like she caused the divorce and like there was some part about she wasn't good enough.
So I think it actually did start that young. I didn't realize it back then, you know what I mean? Back then I was just trying to be the A student and the talented and gifted and all the things, right? So I would be liked and loved and all that. And so then I kept going. I was a very high functioning, people pleaser, and I was in the top 20 in my high school class, got the scholarship to college. I swam on the high school swim team and then college swim team. Although I will say that was not like a cap of achievement in that I was the worst one on both teams. But in high school, I was the co-captain because I was such a cheerleader. I was the one that everybody wanted to motivate them, but I came in last in so many of my races.
But the point here, right? Is that I found ways to feel better about myself, to prove myself, to to do good in the world kind of thing. And so then I graduate, I do the internship, I get the job, all that stuff. Now fast forward now I'm 21. I just graduated college. My father had a stroke and so then I'm now, and my parents have been divorced years before, right? So now I'm all of a sudden CFO essentially of our family at 21 just started a new job. Wasn't a job I would've ever wanted at that stage of my life, my sister had just started college. My dad wasn't remarried and it was all on me. And so then it upped the need to prove myself and be the good daughter and all of that, right?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:09:28] Trying to hold it all together.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:09:29] So it kind of lost it as an adult, right? This is who you have to be in the world. So I made sure he was okay, kind of banded everything together and started to just rededicate myself to work. And that was like okay, let's lean into work. Now I was dating somebody from 18 to 28 and I was kind of miserable in that relationship. I realize now a lot of it was long distance and how do I say this? Well I just wasn't getting prioritized. He was a basketball coach. He was on the road like a college basketball coach. He was on the road a lot, and I think that was when I had to start to realize is this how I want to be treated?
I think that sometimes we tolerate a lot of things from the men that we date and from the jobs that we have. 28 was a very pivotal year for me. So it started when I bought a house. I bought a two-family house. because I was like well, I don't know what his role is going to be in it, but I know what my role is going to be. I watched my family struggle with money because of all this divorce and all this stuff. And we can draw different conclusions from what we see as children around money. The conclusion I drew was, I don't want to be poor, was I don't want to struggle. And so I invested in a two-family house and I rented out one unit and then I had my unit and then I even rented out a room in my unit. So I was like house hacking before it was a thing.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:11:07] Way before it was-
Belinda Rosenblum [00:11:07] Because 28 was a long time ago. 23 years ago, right? So that was what I started to do. But the challenge was that I was working so much, I now had so much of a burden of all of my dad's finances that it all started to pile up in this new house now, right? I had all these bills, I had all these responsibilities. I was traveling a lot for work. I worked for one of those big four accounting firms. And it started to just overwhelm me. If you ever feel like your life is overwhelming, that's kind of how I felt and so my sister one day was like hey, how are you holding up? Do you have everything together?
And I just couldn't hold in the lie anymore. Do you know what I mean? And be like oh yeah, everything's fine. You know? it's fine. And everything wasn't fine. And so I did one of the scariest things, if there are any avoiders out there of your money and your bills, you know what I'm talking about. So I pulled together all of the piles of mail and all the stuff in the drawers and the baskets and the dressers and the desks and all the things. And it literally, I put my dining room table and I felt like I was stared down by like these three huge stacks of bills in mail. And it really hit home like on my own shame and worthiness and how could I let this happen? I literally started have this like panic attack sitting there at the table and or what I now know was probably a panic attack.
I got up and I start pacing and I'm like all of those negative thoughts about maybe I'm not good enough and how could I have let this happen and could my dad get kicked out of the nursing home he was in? And it was a lot. I mean, it was like eight credit cards, four bank accounts. You could have added a partridge-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:12:47] That’s a lot.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:12:48]... in a pantry and then you would've been complete. It was that kind of a thing, you know? And so then in that moment, I caught my breath and I was like wait a second. I can treat this like everything else in my life. I can figure it out. I now think of it like I could own my money instead of feeling so owned by it, but I had this sense of financial independence men, I had to do it all on my own.
And that was just bs. And so in that moment, I phoned a friend, it was a very challenging phone call, I remember I was like, is there any chance you come over and help me? And there was what felt like minutes of a pause. It was probably like three seconds. But to me it was oh my God, what is she going to say? What is she going to think of me? So then she came over that weekend and then it took six months actually for me to really dig myself out because even though I was doing it, the mail keeps coming. Do you know what I mean? It was like it didn't stop just because I was now paying more attention to it. The bills got more colorful over time as I avoided more of them. But it took six months, got over it.
She came over several weekends. And I remember there was one time where I was just sitting at dinner and my dad was checking in with me on something financial related and I could actually look him in the eye and know that yes, I did in fact have everything handled because I decided that I wanted to handle not just the tactics, like not just the papers. So yes, I had to have like an organizational system, but I had to get my own mindset upgraded. I had to realize like in it's sort of like early stage growth mindset. Like again, kind of before the book came out, but recognizing that I can be good at this. It was just that I hadn't read the books. I didn't understand it, and then I had to set up a system that included a stronger mindset around money as well and healing some of my own money traumas.
And because money got associated with a lot of pain because my parents were spending so much money on that divorce, for instance, right? I had to learn how to release and forgive and move on through some of that and so that was when I was 28. And then I broke up with that guy, same year, it was a big year. That's why I said it was big year.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:15:02] Lot of clearing out stuff.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:15:24] A lot of letting go, a lot of clearing out. And then that set the path, right? I was already a saver. I had made good investments in real estate, but I didn't feel good about it, right? So that's when things really started to shift when I was like okay, wait a second. Who's going to own my life?
It's going to be me, right? That needed to step up. There's no, as Suzy Arma would say, and I don't really quote her very much, but it's you have to save yourself. You have to want to save yourself. And so that was the choice that I had to make to realize I could have a relationship with myself, right? There were things that I could do to spend time with myself. I was totally that one who was so busy every night, and always booked and would never go to the movies or dinner by myself. I had friends that would do that, but that was for them. I couldn't handle it. And so then the next 10 years was really a journey to connect with myself more, to create a relationship with myself, to heal some of the stuff that I think I was living out through the relationships that I was in.
And to decide that I was worth the relationship. That I was worth having money and having it taken care of in a way that felt like I was literally changing the legacy of my family. Because I watched my mom struggle, I watched my dad had like seven jobs, and we had the money for things we wanted to do, but they worked really hard to make that happen. And I think this was all part of, so that was 28 and then the next five years I kept saving and now I wasn't avoiding, so I was saving money on all the late fees and like all the other things, right? And really started to own my own success. And then, so 33, I remember doing a little net worth statement and figured out holy crap, I did it like I'm now a millionaire. At least on paper. It's not like Ed McMahon comes to your house with a big check and is like hey, you're now a millionaire. Nothing like that happens.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:17:06] Just cash.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:17:07] Just to let you know nothing like that happens. Sorry to deflate the idea. But then a couple years later I was 35 and I was in a job and I didn't like it. And I had left the big accounting firm and had gone to work as first a controller and then a corporate controller because I didn't like dating with a business card that said controller on it. So I encouraged them to change my title to be corporate controller.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:17:33] It makes sense.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:17:34] Any of your people out there who like a controller?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:17:37] What do you do? I'm a controller.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:17:38] Yeah. That works great in networking and dating. So it's like if I'm blushing now, I would really blush when I had to hand the card over. But then I was in a job and when I left the big accounting firm, I went to work in this controller job and we literally felt like we were saving the world. I started there right after 911. We were making X-ray screening machines for baggage handling.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:18:02] Oh wow.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:18:03] When literally there were only two companies that were contracted by the TSA and by all of the airports around the world to do it. And we were one of the two. So it was exciting, it was fun. I really felt like I was making this contribution. But then once we literally put the machines into all the airports around the world, from Japan to Portugal to all the things, it's funny what I can remember now, like 15-plus years ago, right?
But I remember working on these projects and then they were like hey, put your head down and close the books. And I was like that's not the job I wanted. I was so bored. I really felt like I was just checking my personality at the door. So then I left there and I took a nice package and three weeks later was on a plane to India. And then I kind of lived an eat, pray, love before the book and the movie and went to India for a month.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:18:50] You did a lot of things ahead of the curve.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:18:51] I know. I'm a total overachiever.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:18:52] A lot of things.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:18:53] Like people have their midlife crisis at 45. I have it at 35. I am just totally ahead of the curve. Quick side note, but very funny, like remember the recession that started around, not the current thing we're in, but around 2000?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:19:07] 2008?
Belinda Rosenblum [00:19:11] Well that too. That's when I started my business. So in that year, right? When I was around 35, the early midlife crisis did my eat, pray, love thing. Then that's when I started Own Your Money. That's when I decided people need help around money. So yeah, I'm a intuitive forward thinker. Because I'm like gosh, we have a negative savings rate. I almost became a financial advisor, but I felt like we didn't need one more financial advisor. And when I talk with friends, they would like clutch their purse kind of like they did when they heard I was an auditor kind of a thing. But now it was worse because now I was actually like someone that could take their money so to speak. And I was like okay, never mind. I don't want that job. But I didn't want to just like write the prescription of what they could do with their money.
I wanted to be more of a financial therapist. A financial coach. And then in 2007, that's when I started this company of Own Your Money. And that was like a big move in this self-worth milestone because it was me going out of my own. And my family, my friends were so skeptical. Many of you have lived through this. I get it, they literally had like an intervention in my first six months of having a business. Because they're like why are you leaving a six figure job to go start this business? How are you going to make any money? Nobody wants to save. Well guess who on the day of the federal bailout, October, 2008 was on the five o'clock news in Boston. Because I was having this conversation before everybody else was. So then I started on Your Money back in 2007. I've been doing that now for 15 and a half years, almost 16. And I was even ahead when the recession came. I was thinking of 2020 with the pandemic. I literally did an event called Recession Proof Your Business the week before the recession came out. I'm like no guys-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:20:56] Wow.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:20:57] You have to be thinking about this. And then when it finally came out, they were holy crap, she was right. So anyway, I think those are all part of who I am today, of why I have so much compassion for women around money, right? And for our own challenges with our worthiness, because I have had my own challenges with worthiness too. And I think that it's important that when you're hiring people and when you're working with people that they can relate to you. You know what I mean? That it just doesn't feel like they're up on some pedestal and you're the one here struggling with worthiness challenges, you know? And I feel like you've been through your fair share of stuff too, and that you're able to bring a lot of that compassion when you help professional women now.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:21:44] Yeah. Well, I so appreciate you sharing your story. And I think so many people will resonate, whether it's being the kid who felt like in psychology, we'd call it a parentified child, right? The kid who was sort of in these parental roles had to keep everything together, right? And sort of started from there and then that same sort of dynamic carried through. And I feel like another thing that really comes out in your story is how sort of owning, like working on sort of your internal world, owning your money, facing your fears, facing the things that you had been avoiding, how that really opened things up for you, right? That-
Belinda Rosenblum [00:22:24] It's like the taking responsibility element, and it's like we think that we don't want to take responsibility, that we feel like it's feels easier to be irresponsible, but actually it can be. I used to say, it can be a sexy, fun and cool to take responsibility, as irresponsibility has always felt because that's where we get the results. That's where we feel like we are the cause, not just dealing with the scraps or dealing with the feeling like a victim to what's happening around us. We feel like we can actually be the cause of what happens in our lives, which is a much more powerful way to be, and-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:23:00] Exactly.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:23:01] If you think about the Spider-Man quote, right? With great power comes great responsibility, and also with great responsibility comes great power. And I think that it's really important to think about it from both points of view.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:23:16] Yeah. And hopefully I think your story's inspiring and hopefully it will inspire people because it is hard to face the bills, it is hard to face the mess we may have made, right? We can make messes in lots of areas in our lives, right? Like yours was sort of a financial mess, right? That wasn't really that you made it, it was that you were overloaded. But that's often no matter what kind of mess we have in our lives, right? It's usually some combination of a situation. We were overwhelmed, we were trying to do too much, we all this stuff and suddenly there's a mess. And it's really when we feel shame, our tendency is to avoid, right? Avoid, avoid, avoid. Because that feels easier than the facing.
And the facing is uncomfortable. And you're honest, like six months of like okay, let's look at this. I'm let's get the help and all of that stuff. And it takes a lot of courage, but what happens afterwards is so much better, right? So much better to spend six months or a year or however long it takes to sort of work through that mess and clean it up than to spend years avoiding and sort of feeling and staying stuck in your life because you're not owning it, you're not taking responsibility, you're not allowing yourself to move forward.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:24:35] Right. And I think we don't realize how much we can plateau, and just sort of like be in that for a while or kind flat line almost, right? Because we do that becomes our comfort zone and oftentimes part of my job even is to help people get a little uncomfortable so they can be truly happy instead of staying comfortable, but actually being really unhappy in the process. And so I think it feels like we'll just stay the course, but really it's not supporting us to be our best self, to be who we want to be in the world. And years go by. Do you know what I mean? I didn't get married or we didn't get married, I should say. I didn't marry myself, we didn't get married until I was 39 because it took me a while to figure this out. I had kids at 41 and 43, and it's possible. If I'm going to inspire you today that it's still possible no matter your age, I think that's part of it, right? It's rough going into the doctor's office when you're like advanced maternal age, you feel like over the hill. And you’re like-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:25:44] Gosh.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:25:45] Is that really necessary to label me like that?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:25:52] It's that's called geriatric pregnancy.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:25:53] That's not geriatric pregnancy is not helping myself worth one little bit here, right? And so it's kind of realizing that we can still do what we want in our life. You know what I mean?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:26:07] Yes.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:26:08] You'd be amazed at how many people started things in their 30s, 40s, 50s. Just because you didn't do it right out of college in your 20 somethings. It's okay. There's still time.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:26:18] Yes.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:26:19] Get on this journey now because I'd rather have you find that place of the unconditional self-worth now than be in your seventies. I coach my mom sometimes on things. It's like mom, there's still time. You're going for a hundred.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:26:41] As long as you're still breathing, as long as you're still kicking.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:26:43] Exactly.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:26:44] Yeah. I mean, I think people often come and they feel a sense of shame, right? I hear people say, well, I should have had this figured out by now. And I think that keeps people stuck and keeps people from asking for help, whether it's on finances or self-worth stuff. Because it's like why haven't? And it's like well, nobody really taught you, right? I'm sure there was a sense with your own financial journey of now there's more sort of financial educators and conversations about finances. Now there's more conversation about self-worth and mental health. But who was talking about this when somebody was 10 or 15 or 20? You know what I mean? Even still, the conversations need to grow. And so reminding people like it doesn't matter that you haven't started before. It doesn't matter that you haven't figured it out. Now is your time to figure it out, to work on it to get the help. You cannot do anything about the past in terms of like wishing you could go back 10 years and already have it figured out. All you can do is say, what's one step I can take today or in this moment now?
Belinda Rosenblum [00:27:52] Right. Yeah. It's so true. And inspire people every day with that, Adia. Because I think that it's like we're so busy looking at the rearview mirror that we forget to see, we have so much road ahead of us that we can enjoy at a different deeper level. And I think that there is something that when we can learn how to just release the baggage, release the weight that we put on ourselves and a lot of times, so when I have help people like rewrite their money stories is one of the exercises that we do. and I used to do a lot more personal finance for like 12 years. That's when I wrote the book, The Self-Worth to Net Worth Book. I actually wrote it with a psychotherapist because I really wanted to learn more about the mental, psychological aspects of it.
And then now I've shifted for last four years helping entrepreneurs more. Because I feel like whether you're going from the side hustle to the full-time gig to the empire that you want to build, right? Like you and I, but that's we have to be grounded, right? In a very clean money story of ourselves. Because otherwise we project it, we project it in all of our salary negotiations in corporate. We project it in our negotiations, our proposals every time we ask a client for money, right? Because we buy into their limitations when we've still bought into our own.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:29:18] Yep.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:29:19] And it's up to us to change that.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:29:21] Right. So I'd love for you to share a little bit more, right? So your book is From Self-Worth to Net Worth. You talked a little bit when we just started the conversation about how self-worth is something that comes up often when you're coaching people. So I'd love for you to share a little bit more about how you think self-worth sets up a foundation for financial abundance, for creating wealth and prosperity and things like that in their life.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:29:48] Totally. Well, if you take a step back, right? And if you think not from your own point of view for a second, but just think you will never be nearly as successful as you can be financially, as long as you aren't looking at your money. As long as you're feeling a lack of self-worth because you're trying to fill a hole that is bottomless. It's like there's just not enough retail therapy that you can do, which is essentially spending money, right? To fill a hole inside yourself because of your own worthiness. And so as we stop the money leaks, like that's a key one that you really need to pay attention to is looking at where you spending your money and how is it aligning with your values versus how is it aligning with what you need to feel complete.
And how can you first and foremost inside yourself feel complete? Find that place of yourself. And I'm not saying it's the easiest thing. Like it took me years, it took me working with therapists and experts to be able to let go. I mean, most of the forgiveness that I help people do is for themselves. Yes. It's oftentimes something related to a parent or grandparent or partner, but fundamentally they have to find the place to forgive themselves. And so that they can feel okay, I have a solid foundation to build financial abundance, to build wealth on top of, otherwise it's like this foundation of sand and you're trying to build this empire state building on top and you're like I don't know why I'm not getting anywhere, right? And it's because it's not solid, right? There's still that hole that we keep trying to fill and there are layers to it. I'm not saying, I'm done. I find that as I keep-
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:31:30] It's a journey, always.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:31:31] It's a journey, as I keep reaching new levels, I'm like oh, there's another little spot that I need to heal or resolve or like hype myself up to go to some event or have some conversation or you know what I mean, take it to that next level. because I think that sometimes people look at people like us, whether it's because we have a podcast, because we do speeches because I have a book, whatever, and we feel like oh, we're better than you. No, we just have taken some time to figure it out to get to a certain level, and we still have new levels that we're going to and we're still like we continue in this growth process.
I think that's part of it. I think sometimes people feel broken or they feel like I don't want to get help because it's going to validate or confirm that there's really something wrong with me. And I view it completely different. I am always growing. I feel like if you're not growing, you're dying. Someone said that to me early on and I was like okay, well I'm going to be growing then. That's the mentality that I have. It's one of my core values is really excellence in growth because I feel that's when I thrive is when I am learning, when I am expanding and when I'm expanding my comfort zone and I'm trying new things. And there was one point when I was like I'm too comfortable. And I said to now, my husband at the time, I think we were just dating, I was like let's go jump out of a plane. He was like really? I'm like yep.
He was like okay. So we went skydiving. But it's like doing those things, right? And just being gentle with yourself to be like okay, there are things I haven't learned yet. The basic like growth mindset, great book by Caro Dweck, Mindset. Instead of being stuck in this place of, I don't know this, and then we go down this unsupportive rabbit hole of, so I'm bad, I'm not smart, I'm all the things it's just getting, no, I just haven't learned this yet. And it's not like we're born with an understanding of money or wealth building or business or any of that stuff. This is all learned skills. And so I feel like part of it is recognizing how can you spend the time and energy to claim your own self-worth and then to make a decision about the external worth that you want to create coming from this very grounded place of who you are as a woman and who you want to be in the world.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:34:01] Yeah. I think if people can sort of take away from this conversation, right? Your agency and your choice and how do you own that, right? Because it is really easy to get into a passive victim place.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:34:22] Life is happening to me.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:34:22] Where it looks like is anything you can do. Exactly. Versus Okay, like what choice, what step can I take? Even if I don't know how to do it, can I figure out how to do it? Can I get the support to do it? Can I get the coaching? Because I think a lot of what keeps us stuck, and I like to, use the frame of stuck not broken, right? What keeps us stuck is feeling ashamed, feeling like we don't know how to do it and we can't ask for help, right? Feeling like we've got to do it perfectly, right? And so there's so many things and if we can get out of the narrative of, I'm bad at money, I don't, you know what I mean, right? Those things.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:35:00] Because my fourth grade teacher told me I wasn't good at math. It's like we hold onto these things. Yes. You're totally right. If we can get out of that narrative, and sometimes it's even a matter of how can you become the observer of that narrative and be okay, so this is me telling myself all of these negative things. Like really?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:35:21] Right. The phrase I've learned is the story I'm telling myself is.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:35:20] Yes.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:35:21] I'm the worst person in the world with money, right? Or I'm the worst human ever. And that's like well really, is it?
Belinda Rosenblum [00:35:29] Yeah.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:35:30] Is that true?
Belinda Rosenblum [00:35:31] Right.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:35:32] And I think that's why coaching, what we do is so powerful because we help people to see the dynamics that they're engaging in or sort of like hidden mindset blocks and things that are getting in their way And it's not always easy to do it on your own. I love that in your story you talked about calling your friend, right? And like what a powerful shame buster to say Hey, I need help.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:35:56] Right.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:35:56] Right? Actually, I'm not okay, I need help. Or hey coach, can you help me? Or whoever. Because that's really what helps us to start to kind of get out of it. I'd love for you to also share like are there any, I know these days you coach people like women entrepreneurs and experts, and I think, you can provide wisdom that's going to be useful for those of us who fall into that category as well as people who just kind of want to take more ownership in their life with their finances in general, even if they're not an entrepreneur. So do you have a couple of maybe two to three top tips for people when they're kind of wanting, they're hearing this and they're like yeah, I need to take more ownership of my money, of my career, of those things. Like what would you recommend for people.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:36:51] Sure. I love the question, and I think you reflected it back really well in terms of, you have a choice. Is life happening to you and you're the victim, or do you want life to be happening for you? And because of you even, right? To your agency point that you made and then you become the victor, right? Instead of the victim. And I think that that's a shift, it's a choice that we get to make. So when I think about some ways to get you started, right? One of the ones that I love doing, and people don't necessarily like doing it, I'll warn you, but it's so helpful and impactful. One of them is to notice the cost of your inaction. So what is it costing you to not look at the money the way that you want to be doing?
To not take the time to add something to your 401k, to not invest what's in your 401k, to not go after that salary raise that you really need to do. And to realize that, okay, wait a second. How much of this can I work through my own? How much of this do I need Adia for or someone to help me through? Wait a second, I could be the cause of something better, but I'm not, and this is what it's costing us. Tony Robbins talks about is what does it take for you to get disturbed about it, right? Like enough that you're committed to make a change. One of the models it's in the book is called the IDEA System, I-D-E-A, it's Inspiration, Decision, Education, Action. So it's like you need to be inspired, but the key point is the decision point.
Are you going to make the choice? And oftentimes it takes looking at it enough to be like oh crap if I keep not getting this raise and that raise is $10,000 a year if I wait 10 years, it's well over a hundred, $150,000 because they didn't take action. Or when I used to do a lot of personal finance stuff, generally I could find 500 to a thousand dollars per month for my six figure plus earners of expenses that they didn't need to be spending.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:38:51] Wow.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:38:52]Whether it was food eating out, it was taxes, because they weren't planning. It was just like they didn't even know where the money went to. Sometimes it would be moms, I'd be like looking at their random like one woman would like stop off on the way home from work because she was bored and she didn't quite have to get home and to watch her kids yet.
And I'd be how much do you think you spent? And she was I don't know, like 150 bucks. And it was like $800 one month. And I was like do you even know what you bought? And she's like I remember buying pajamas. You know what I mean? It's like sometimes we just do so many things so unconsciously.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:39:26] Mindlessly.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:39:27] Mindlessly, right? Or to fill this need that I touched on earlier. So if you can stop and say, wait a second, right? How can I get myself disturbed? How can I make that decision? And then you can move to education, which is, okay, what do I need to do that step and then action, right? As in how do I take action to do whatever is the thing that I have to do, if I have to pay attention to my money, if I have to ask for that raise, if I have to get the support to do that thing, right? And then that's what you do, right? So I think that's a key thing. On the personal finance side, it's usually about looking at your money, number one and two, it's usually about looking at how much you're making and being like are you tolerating underearning right now? Do you need to be asking for raise? Do you need to just go look somewhere else? If they've told you, sorry, this is what we can do. And even in this economy, there's still great jobs out there and if anything, it's sometimes harder to fill the roles. So sometimes people are willing to pay more for those roles, right? And then on the business side for our entrepreneurs out there, so I have this really helpful Pay Yourself Calculator, I'll make sure that you have that Adia. It's at ownyourmoney.com/calculator or follow me on Instagram.
And I post a lot of tips on there, but that you decide how much you want to pay yourself, and then you get super intentional about the money that you want to make in your business. Again, our businesses are one of those areas that oftentimes we become the victim of what people want to pay, of what we feel we're acceptable to charge. And I believe there is a price for every buyer and a buyer for every price. You just have to make that decision. What do I want to charge and who do I want to serve? Because who you will attract if I had a $10 product is going to be different than who I attract with a $5,000 product. The key thing is your agency in the matter, is you being able to make that decision.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:41:32] I love those tips and I think especially, when thinking about the first one, people often think about looking at their budgets and looking at what they're spending as oh God, I'm not going to be able to do the things I want to do. But I think what you're pointing at is just are the things that you're spending money on actually fulfilling.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:41:51] Right.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:41:52] Right? Is it actually fulfilling to do the mindless Amazon shopping, or would you rather save up for that like really nice pair of boots or dress or whatever that you might buy once a quarter that, you know what I mean? Because you really love it. You know what I mean?
Belinda Rosenblum [00:42:07] Oftentimes it’s quantity over quality when we're trying to fill a void, when we're not paying attention.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:42:16] Exactly.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:42:17] Even like old subscriptions, like you signed up for HBO I don't know when Sex in the City was on, you know what I mean? And you're still paying us now like 10 years later or something because you just never looked. And HBO doesn't call you and be like hey, we're still charging you a lot when you're not even watching our channel. People literally would have more channels on their remote control than they could ever even find, watch. You see what I mean?
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:42:40] Right.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:42:40] Could like find on their remote control, let alone watch. Right. Exactly.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:42:44] Right. Yeah. Can you be intentional, right? You're worthy of being intentional about really, it's not about deprivation, it's not about all of that, but it's what do you really want or are you just sort of like placating anxieties and discomforts through the mindless shopping, through the mindless ordering, eating, ordering food. And it's could you stop? Could you make a decision? Could you be intentional? Look at your money in order to actually say, okay, well actually if I saved up this money, part of that could go to a vacation or it could go to this or that. And so that's really going to make your life richer. And I think a theme of what we're talking about here is can you move through the uncomfortable to get to the wonderful, right? Can you move through the work of looking at your money, owning your finances? Can you move through the self-worth work that is uncomfortable in the process? Very often it's not miserable. It's not torturous, but it's often uncomfortable to get to a life where things feel really wonderful and amazing and you're really fully living instead of just kind of getting by and surviving.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:43:57] Right. Well, it's do you want to just get by the rest of your life or do you actually want to get ahead? And I think that we spend way too much time tolerating and settling. Guilty as charged back in the day, and now every now and again, I need to like ruffle my own feathers and do something that feels scary. I did this event last year called Driveway to Hell. That's not normally something that people do for fun, but it was my thing to challenge myself. Feel free to DM me on Instagram. I'll fill you all about it. I'll send you the reel. I made it, let's just say I finished. But I love that you should, it's like t-shirt material right there, Adia, can you get through the comfortable to get to the wonderful kind of a thing. It's often the breakdown to the breakthrough, but the good news is that the breakthrough can be there for you. And that's what we want to remind you today.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:44:49] Yes. Well, thank you so much, Belinda, for being here and sharing your story and sharing your wisdom. I know that people are going to want to connect with you further. You mentioned the Pay Yourself Calculator, which will link in the show notes, but tell people how to find you on Instagram and anywhere else you'd love for them to connect with you.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:45:00] Sure. So my favorite spot is Instagram. I am Own Your Money on Instagram. Take a picture of the podcast, tag us. I'll re-share it. Let me know your favorite part, send me a DM, send me a salary negotiation question, or a pricing question. It's all good. I am here for you because it's part of my mission, right? To inspire you, to help you create that rich life for yourself, right? And it's hard to do that when you don't feel worthy. So the best bet is Instagram Own Your Money. I do have this website called ownyourmoney.com and the Pay Yourself Calculator ownyourmoney.com/calculator. And then I do have the book. So whether you're “a professional or an entrepreneur,” The Self-Worth to Net Worth Book, it's all about creating wealth inside and out. And it's really easy to read, easy to pick up book. And it's even done, it has little tabs on the side. So if you're like I just need to skip to the chapter on Setting Boundaries, it's there for you.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:46:02] Love it. Love it.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:46:03] Awesome. I'd love to connect.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:46:05] Thanks.
Belinda Rosenblum [00:46:05]Thanks, Dr. Adia.
Dr. Adia Gooden [00:46:06] Awesome. Thanks so much, Belinda. It was wonderful to have you.
[cheerful music starts]
Thanks for joining me this week on the Unconditionally Worthy Podcast. Make sure to visit my website, dradiagooden.com and subscribe to the show on iTunes so you'll never miss an episode. You can also follow me on social media at Dr. Adia Gooden. If you loved the show, please leave a review on iTunes so we can continue to bring you amazing episodes. Lastly, if you found this episode helpful and know someone who might benefit from hearing it, please share it. Thanks for listening and see you next episode.
[cheerful music ends]
This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana and the music is by Wataboi.
Cali by Wataboi https://soundcloud.com/wataboi
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY-SA 3.0
Music promoted by FDL Music https://youtu.be/ZdQI7WQWi_g
Are you struggling with finances? Do you want to learn how to start owning your money AND your worth?
In this episode, I’ve invited my own financial coach, Belinda Rosenblum, to tell you how. Belinda is a CPA, Profit Strategist, Author, and Founder of Own Your Money, where she helps busy female coaches and experts sustainably scale their revenue and profits by upleveling their financial systems and strategies and stepping into the CEO role.
Listen in as Belinda and I shed light on the mindset shifts you need to make to finally own your finances, own your worth, and find wealth inside and out. She also shares her incredible journey from struggling as the CFO of her family to becoming a self-made millionaire at 33 years old.
If you want to be financially independent, take charge of your wealth, and enjoy healthy, sustainable profits, then tune in and let’s get learning!
Belinda kicks things off by sharing a really powerful truth: If we don’t have our self-worth, then our money, our potential for growth, and our career doesn’t really matter.
There’s not enough retail therapy in the world that can fix your self-worth issues. You have to be the one to swoop in and save your relationship with money. You have to be the one to decide you’re worthy of wealth.
Belinda’s inspiring journey with money shows us that working on facing your financial fears, facing the things you’ve been avoiding, and committing to healing your relationship with money is the key that opens the door to financial freedom. With great power comes great responsibility, but with great responsibility comes great power.
No matter your age, background, job, or amount of debt, you can still get what you want out of life. There’s still time to own your money and your worth. So, embark on this journey now.
When you feel a lack of self-worth, you’re less likely to feel worthy of financial abundance, stability, and security. When you decide to cultivate and validate your self-worth, you can decide the external worth that you want to create in the world. What keeps us stuck is feeling shame, feeling like we don’t know how to do it, like we can’t ask for help, and like we have to do it perfectly. If we can get out of those narratives and start questioning them, we can do anything.
How to Start Taking Ownership of Your Finances (Personal and Business):
Make the choice between victim and victor. Do you want life to be happening to you (victim) or do you want life to be happening for you (victor)?
Notice the cost of your inaction. What is it costing you to not look at your finances, to not invest, to not pursue a salary raise, etc?
Identify what you’re spending, earning, saving, and investing and see where you get disturbed enough to start making more intentional financial decisions. This is where you need to focus your efforts first.
Educate yourself on what you need to do to make intentional financial decisions and reach your financial goals. Do you need to set reminders to pay bills, ask for a raise, or get professional help?
Take action on those steps.
If you’re an entrepreneur, use Belinda’s Pay Yourself Calculator.
You CAN be good with money, it just takes a bit of learning, a system for managing it, some professional help, and a stronger mindset that says you are worthy.
About Belinda Rosenblum (she/her):
Meet Belinda Rosenblum, CPA and Profit Strategist of OWN YOUR MONEY. She helps busy female coaches and experts sustainably scale their revenue AND profits by upleveling their financial systems + strategies and stepping into the CEO role with her signature Cash Flow CEO Accelerator program.
She believes it’s time female entrepreneurs feel worthy and safe with money, finally enjoy the freedom they started their business for in the first place, AND consistently take home the money they want each month. (It is possible!) Her recent breast cancer survival journey has even further inspired her to support women to create freedom-based businesses where they can take care of themselves AND enjoy healthy sustainable profits.
Belinda is also the coauthor of Self-Worth To Net Worth: 12 Keys To Creating Wealth Inside And Out, and became a self-made millionaire at 33. If she’s not inspiring you to be your best self, Belinda is likely cycling around town or outside playing with her marathon-running husband, newly college graduated step-daughter, and 2 spirited young kids.
To connect further with Belinda Rosenblum:
Visit her website: https://ownyourmoney.com
Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourmoney
Buy her book, Self-Worth To Net Worth: 12 Keys To Creating Wealth Inside And Out: https://ownyourmoney.lpages.co/self-worth-to-net-worth
This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana.
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